Dating DiCaprio leonardo

Leonardo DiCaprio is a member of the following lists: American film actors, American film producers and Best Drama Actor Golden Globe (film) winners. Contribute. Help us build our profile of Leonardo DiCaprio! Login to add information, pictures and relationships, join in discussions and get credit for your contributions. Leonardo DiCaprio courtside at the Los Angeles Lakers vs. the Oklahoma City Thunder game, with his girlfriend at the time, Israeli model Bar Refaeli April 27, 2010. Andreas Rentz Getty Images 21 of 31 Leonardo DiCaprio Got Dragged at the Golden Globes for Dating Younger Women Host Ricky Gervais referred to DiCaprio's notorious dating history during his opening monologue. By Bianca Betancourt The Complete History of Leonardo DiCaprio's Model-Filled Love Life. 15 models, 15 blondes, 5 actresses, one pop star, and Leo. ... Blake was dating [DiCaprio] at the time, and she had this thing ... DiCaprio has a home in LA and two flats in New York. In addition, he bought an island in Belize and built there an eco-friendly resort. He was named Leonardo because when he kicked inside his mother’s belly for the first time, she was in a museum, looking at Leonardo da Vinci’s painting. 'She set the benchmark': trailblazing PNG politician Nahau Rooney dies, aged 75 Leonardo DiCaprio, 45, got some attention at the Golden Globes this year, but it wasn't because of his nomination (he lost out to Taron Egerton). Award-winning actor Leonardo DiCaprio is often joked about for his choice in relationships. The 45-year-old actor often dates younger women. He is currently dating 22-year-old model Camila Morrone ... Oscar Award-winning actor Leonardo DiCaprio is coming under fire, for dating very young girls. Not too young . . . just creepily young. Leo prefers to date young women. The 44-year-old actor's last few girlfriends were all under 25. And he started dating his current girlfriend when she was just 19 years old. Leonardo DiCaprio and former Victoria's Secret Angel and beauty queen Helena Christensen began dating shortly after the actor starred in his iconic Romeo + Juliet film. Leo was really starting his rise to fame as a Hollywood actor at the time and was actually less popular than Christensen had been.

I read "Back to Blood" by Tom Wolfe and uhh

2020.09.21 17:31 gayclarinet I read "Back to Blood" by Tom Wolfe and uhh

It was bad. Very very bad.
Some background: I've never read Tom Wolfe before now, and picked up this book because it was $5 at BAM. I initially thought it was a nonfiction book, but quickly learned it wasn't. I imagine The Right Stuff/The Electric Kool-Aid Test is probably better than this as Wolfe's a journalist, but I don't know. Also, I'm a white guy who's never been to Miami reviewing this book about race (sort of), but also, Wolfe was a white guy from VA, so it's probably fine. Spoilers, obviously.
Back to Blood is a 704 page novel with little plot and too many characters. Our two main characters are Nestor Camacho, a Cuban cop who, after scaling a pole to arrest a Cuban man who is trying to get asylum in America, is outed by his community as a traitor. His girlfriend, Magdalena, breaks up with him suddenly to date her boss, the most famous sex addiction psychiatrist in Miami. Here lie two different "plot" points: Nestor, in his attempts to regain favor, assaults a black man with cocaine (in a pretty racistly-worded section, in that "nothing good happens in this part of town"), breaks a case that a black kid (again!) assaulted a teacher, though the teacher had been arrested for assaulting him, and that the large amount of paintings given to the Miami Art Museum were all forgeries in a large Russian con job. Magdalena, on the other hand, sort of just goes around with her sex-addicted sex addiction psychiatrist boyfriend. Then it ends.
Now, the plot is horrible, in that I read 704 pages and the above is the best way I can summarize it. But the writing-atrocious! All thoughts are written ::::::like this:::::::, and there are about ten italicized words (for emphasis) per page. There is so much repetition in the description, and not a single word of this book was edited, I think. For some reason, Wolfe's use of iPhone as a verb really gets me, as well as the fake names for Leonardo DiCaprio and Keanu Reaves (Leon Decapito and Kanyu Reade).
Now on to, in my opinion, the worst part. Every woman is described in relation to her sexual appeal (even when narrated by heterosexual women), and every man is described as large or small. Take this, a description of a character we don't spend hardly any time with, but Nestor ends up with at the end:
"Out here on the porch he saw her in the light for the first time. ::::::Dios mio! She's so exotica!:::::: He couldn't stop staring. He looked up up and down far faster than it takes to say so. Her skin was as white and smooth as a china plate-but her hair was black as black could be...well, straight, thick, shimmering, streaming down to her shoulders as luxuriantly as any cubana's but black as black could be...and her eyes...staring at him wide-open with fright-and all the more gorgeous for that-and black as black could be...but in a china-white face. Her lips were delicate and curved in a certain mysterious way(took some out here)she's totally innocent of make up-but hold on! That's not really true, is it! He has just noticed the eye shadow. ::::::She's got the rims of her lower lids coated with it!-really names her big eyes pop out! And don't tell me she's not aware of that...and hey, don't tell me she's not aware of how short her skirt is-or does it just happen to show off her lovely long legs, the kind they call lissome...what other white americana would dare turn up at a raggedy dope den in Overtown showing off a pair of lissomely alluring legs like that?::::::...She doesn't look very daring at this moment, however. She keeps blinking blinking blinking blinking...She keeps her lips parted, because she's breathing fast....and with that her breasts rise and fall. They're beneath a shirt, Oxford cloth, which has a coarse weave, button-down, only the top button open on the shirtfront, which amounts to not even trying to be sensual-even hidden this well they look to Nestor like perfection, those breasts...and somehow, her obvious fear moves the heart of Nestor...Nestor the Protector..."
I did not add in the ellipses. I only omitted one bit. That is one page, and that's how the entire book is written. This is right after he beat down a man, and this woman is actually Haitian, which may be why he's describing her as white, to show that she is white-passing (Tom Wolfe's words).
This is, however, the worst part of the book. Magdalena is at an art gallery with Norman, her boyfriend, and Maurice, a client/billionaire. NSFW.
Now she stood stark naked in front of a big puddle of heavy black cloth...rigid, erect. Her face was a blank....She looked like one of the undead in a horror movie...without a stitch on. Magdalena whispered to Norman, "Let's leave-now!" She nodded toward Maurice. Norman just shook his head...No. The stark naked woman appeared to be fifteen years to old and fifteen pounds too heavy to play this role, whatever it was. She began speaking in the dead voice of the undead. "Men have fucked me...they have fucked me, fucked me, fucked me over, over-fucked me-"...on and on with this I Was A Fucking Zombie poem-until all at once she inserted a thumb and two fingers into her vagina and pulled out a length of sausage and came alive, as it were, and cried out, "De-fucked!"-and out came another sausage-"De fucked!" and "De fucked!" and "De fucked!" and "De fucked!" Magdalena couldn't believe how many link sausages the woman had managed to stuff inside her vaginal cavity! Maurice had his hand clasped over his crotch. But instead of stroking it with his hand, he was rocking his body back and forth beneath his hand."
Yeah. Sorry for the long review but it was terrible. Has anyone read it, or any other Tom Wolfe fiction/novel? What were your thoughts?
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2020.09.21 08:44 3uph0r1c I'm so confused about my sexuality and desperately need advice

I'm currently 19 years old and my whole life I feel like I've been attracted to girls. I came out as a lesbian when I was 15 to my friends and they were really supportive, though my mom decided to read my journal where I hinted at having a crush on my best friend who is also a girl. My family is very right-winged, as in everytime there's a lesbian couple on tv my mom changes the channel and says a lot of hateful things. Also, I went to a religious school. So, the next day there happened to be a boy at school who told me that he liked me and we dated for a while, at the time I thought I actually liked him, but when we were dating the thought of doing anything couples do with him absolutely disgusted me. I don't know if I liked the fact that somebody was attracted to me, or if I had an attraction to him, because I don't remember having a time where I had a crush type feeling, I felt as if it was a strong friendship. After he and I broke up, I went on one date with a girl who was a close friend and I honestly felt so excited and comfortable, though it didn't work out as she thought dating would affect our friendship. Then I met another guy who said he was interested in me so I decided to date him, once again all I felt was a strong friendship type bond with no sexual or romantic attraction, but continued anyway and felt uncomfortable throughout the relationship. A few years later we broke up and I went on another date with another girl who happened to be my best friend at the time. When we were together I felt so strange, like I had never felt so compatible with someone and was interested sexually and romantically. Once again it also didn't work out though as she wanted to stay friends too. Then, I dated another guy, and this one I didn't feel attracted to at all, but I felt pressured as my friend group (I was in a different/ my current friend group at this time) and I felt really bad rejecting him, so we dated for a month. In this month I lost my virginity to him and it felt so wrong and disgusting. Once again I wasn't attracted to him in any way but had a strong friendship with him for a while. I don't know if this has anything to do with my sexuality but another thing is that throughout my adolescence, where most girls were obsessed with one direction, or Leonardo DiCaprio etc. I was obsessed with Hayley Williams, Amy Lee and Lily Collins. I also loved tv shows like skins because I was so invested in Naomi and Emily's relationship, and watch YouTubers like Ally Hills, Amy Ordman etc. All of whom are gay women.
I'm so confused about my sexuality. All of the guys I dated were amazing people, but I don't know if I've been dating the wrong guys and confusing close friendships with girls as crushes. I don't know if I've been dating guys because of social pressures, and if I've dated girls as some kind of subconscious desire to rebel against my family. I'm so afraid because when I was younger and came out to my friends as gay, I ended up dating a guy the next day and had my friends believe I was in a phase or trying to be quirky. I'm in a different group now though where everyone except 1 or 2 people are LGBTQ+ so I shouldn't be so worried because if I am gay I'll probably have their support but I don't want to come out unless I'm 100% sure. Also if I'm gay and I do come out I feel like it will be very different to last time as this time I'd want to be more consistent/ honest with who I'm dating but I'm really uncomfortable to openly dating girls (although there's absolutely nothing wrong with that) and I'm comfortable openly dating guys. If I am gay it would mean that I will have some very intense reactions from my family.
I'm really lost with all of this, and I skipped out on a LOT of information... What do you guys think? Am I straight? What would you do in my position? Any advice will help c:
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2020.09.21 08:44 3uph0r1c I'm so confused about my sexuality and desperately need advice

I'm currently 19 years old and my whole life I feel like I've been attracted to girls. I came out as a lesbian when I was 15 to my friends and they were really supportive, though my mom decided to read my journal where I hinted at having a crush on my best friend who is also a girl. My family is very right-winged, as in everytime there's a lesbian couple on tv my mom changes the channel and says a lot of hateful things. Also, I went to a religious school. So, the next day there happened to be a boy at school who told me that he liked me and we dated for a while, at the time I thought I actually liked him, but when we were dating the thought of doing anything couples do with him absolutely disgusted me. I don't know if I liked the fact that somebody was attracted to me, or if I had an attraction to him, because I don't remember having a time where I had a crush type feeling, I felt as if it was a strong friendship. After he and I broke up, I went on one date with a girl who was a close friend and I honestly felt so excited and comfortable, though it didn't work out as she thought dating would affect our friendship. Then I met another guy who said he was interested in me so I decided to date him, once again all I felt was a strong friendship type bond with no sexual or romantic attraction, but continued anyway and felt uncomfortable throughout the relationship. A few years later we broke up and I went on another date with another girl who happened to be my best friend at the time. When we were together I felt so strange, like I had never felt so compatible with someone and was interested sexually and romantically. Once again it also didn't work out though as she wanted to stay friends too. Then, I dated another guy, and this one I didn't feel attracted to at all, but I felt pressured as my friend group (I was in a different/ my current friend group at this time) and I felt really bad rejecting him, so we dated for a month. In this month I lost my virginity to him and it felt so wrong and disgusting. Once again I wasn't attracted to him in any way but had a strong friendship with him for a while. I don't know if this has anything to do with my sexuality but another thing is that throughout my adolescence, where most girls were obsessed with one direction, or Leonardo DiCaprio etc. I was obsessed with Hayley Williams, Amy Lee and Lily Collins. I also loved tv shows like skins because I was so invested in Naomi and Emily's relationship, and watch YouTubers like Ally Hills, Amy Ordman etc. All of whom are gay women.
I'm so confused about my sexuality. All of the guys I dated were amazing people, but I don't know if I've been dating the wrong guys and confusing close friendships with girls as crushes. I don't know if I've been dating guys because of social pressures, and if I've dated girls as some kind of subconscious desire to rebel against my family. I'm so afraid because when I was younger and came out to my friends as gay, I ended up dating a guy the next day and had my friends believe I was in a phase or trying to be quirky. I'm in a different group now though where everyone except 1 or 2 people are LGBTQ+ so I shouldn't be so worried because if I am gay I'll probably have their support but I don't want to come out unless I'm 100% sure. Also if I'm gay and I do come out I feel like it will be very different to last time as this time I'd want to be more consistent/ honest with who I'm dating but I'm really uncomfortable to openly dating girls (although there's absolutely nothing wrong with that) and I'm comfortable openly dating guys. If I am gay it would mean that I will have some very intense reactions from my family.
I'm really lost with all of this, and I skipped out on a LOT of information... What do you guys think? Am I straight? What would you do in my position? Any advice will help c:
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2020.09.21 06:30 HembreeSenpai Guys. You NEED to know this

When you like a girl you have to tell them how you feel. Don’t rush into it and make sure you will be happy with them. Spend some one on one time with them to make sure you guys get along one on one. It doesn’t matter if you think you look like Leonardo DiCaprio or you think you look like a fish. You have to make your move. But know them first. If you and the girl like different things and don’t share any common interest, AND are part of different social groups maybe that’s not who is best for you. If you feel like they won’t even hang out with you they are not someone that will say yes most of the time. A big part of shooting your shot is accepting that maybe you will get shot down. It happens. Happened to me and also happened to millions maybe billions in the past. You are not a loser if she says no. Life isn’t perfect. Same goes for dating. But in the end if she really is someone you can’t stop thinking about and you genuinely think you will be happy with them, go for it. If you don’t you will love your whole life without knowing. If she says no then it’ll suck, but you WILL get over it. Someone is out there for you. And it probably isn’t the person you like right now. We are teens for gods sake. Life is about having fun, making mistakes, and loving life to the fullest. So I say GO FOR IT
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2020.09.18 13:14 House_of_Suns /r/QOTSA Official Band of the Week 20: RADIOHEAD

Ah, change. Don't we all love it? Don't we all hate it? Remember moving out of your parents house and into some dingy college dorm for the first time? Getting married and having children? How about being forced by a global pandemic to live inside for literal months?
Yep. Change can be good, like the kind you find in your couch cushions. But change can also be very, very bad, like the kind of change that Weezer went through, going from indie rock darlings to a meme-driven cover band. Side note: get your fucking shit together, Rivers Cuomo. Either way, change is often divisive - and this concept is core to understanding today’s band of the week.
There is constant pressure for an artist to evolve and change their sound, to develop and create something new. Any real songwriter knows that they can’t just slap a different label on the same can and sell it back to their audience without losing the respect of their peers...unless you happen to be AC/DC, who somehow made the same album 15 times with two different singers. The pop industry’s oversaturated mess of recycled garbage is never going to be admired by critics, even though pre-programmed FM radio and tweens seem to love it.
Our very own Queens of prehistory are the perfect example of how an artist can experiment and advance their sound from record to record. Every album builds on the last one and takes their sound in a new direction. This can be both amazing AND divisive, depending on your point of view.
Today, we will look at a band that did even more. These guys went through one of the most daring style changes in music history, and came out the other side completely unscathed. They’re a shining example of how to evolve, and how to not only change your sound, but to change the very concept of rock music.
You guessed it, today’s artist is none other than RADIOHEAD
About Them
You know how music makes you happy?
This is not that kind of music.
If you are looking for a pick-me-up, for that Walkin’ On Sunshine vibe to make you bop down the sidewalk, then you need to run far, far away from this band. It is not that their music is Soundgarden-dark or Alice In Chains-dark. It is not NIN-angry or RATM-angry. Radiohead sounds like someone compressed a rainy day, mixed in two gallons of melancholy, got a distillation of being dumped by your girlfriend, and then made you watch your puppy get run over...twice. It is sorrow and regret and woe and dejection all brewed in a cauldron of gloom.
And it punches you right in the fucking feels, every time.
The band is made up of brothers Jonny Greenwood (who rivals Keaunu Reeves with his ability to somehow not age) on guitar and keys, Colin Greenwood on bass, Philip Selway on drums, Ed O’Brien on guitar and backing vocals, and the king of falsetto himself, Thom Yorke, on vocals, keys, and guitar. The five guys from the County of Oxfordshire in England all met in school. In the classic story of teenage rebellion, they got together and formed a band that no one had ever heard of called On A Friday. The band played together all through their teenage years and into university. As they cut their teeth on the local club and tavern circuit, the band got tighter and tighter. This was noted by Chris Hufford and Bryce Edge, who saw them play and were so impressed with their raw talent that they helped them record a demo tape and became the band’s managers - a position they still hold today. The demo was shopped to a number of record labels. The net result was that On A Friday was signed to a six-album deal with EMI.
Clearly, we all know and own On A Friday albums today, don’t we? Nope. At the request of their label, they changed their name to the moniker we all know now. The name was inspired by a Talking Heads tune. Clearly, David Byrne must have had a stash of band names hidden somewhere in his comically oversized suit.
The newly-minted Radiohead caught their ticket to fame with the song Creep. You have to remember that when the world were listening to Soundgarden and Kyuss and Stone Temple Pilots and Nirvana crank out amazing grungy, sludgy riffs and tunes, Radiohead rode a wave of self-loathing and awkwardness to international fame. The brilliance of Creep lies in the fact that its lyrics and its music are in direct contrast to each other. When you listen to Thom Yorke lament the fact that he is not worthy of wooing the girl he is chasing, you become sad. But the soaring major chords of the guitar pivot from one to another and create a cognitive dissonance. The music makes you feel the emotional joy of the man who fixates on his crush while the lyrics simultaneously show the soul destroying experience of his unrequited longing.
As it turns out, lots and lots of people have felt this kind of doubt and anguish. Creep was a bonafide hit and is still the band’s most successful single. It made their debut album, Pablo Honey, a world wide best seller. The band’s first international tour as an opening act for Belly and PJ Harvey saw them play the song every night to crowds who knew and sang every word.
The net result? They grew to absolutely hate the song, to the point where they abjectly refused to play it live for years at a time. The irony is, of course, that the incredible success of that one tune gave them immense freedom to experiment with their sound.
Their second album, The Bends, was no happier than the first. The tune My Iron Lung has the lyrics This is our new song, just like the last one, a total waste of time, which was a commentary on the fan’s reaction to Creep. But in a twist of fate, reviews of My Iron Lung said that it was just like Creep. It was enough to, I don’t know, maybe make your eyelid droop or something.
The Bends was released in 1995 and went platinum. Critics initially did not know what to do with it, as it was a genuine album rather than a few singles surrounded by filler. But classic Radiohead tunes High and Dry, Black Star, Just and Fake Plastic Trees can all be found here. The Chicago Tribune gave it one star out of four, and said that the lyrics were self-absorbed and the music was pretentious. Undeterred, Radiohead toured as an opener for Alanis Morrisette and R.E.M. The influence of this dark and moody album cannot be overstated. Acts like Muse, Coldplay, James Blunt and Garbage all cite it as a direct influence on them. Many Radiohead fans place it second only to OK Computer in the band’s canon.
So did Radiohead’s third album build on that kind of success?
Fuck no.
They had an amazing, world-topping single in Creep and then released an album devoid of singles.
They had a fantastic guitar-driven moody thematic album, and then completely abandoned that sound.
OK Computer is the ultimate anti-consumerist album, and it cemented Radiohead as the kings of progressive rock. One needs only listen to Stephen Hawking spittin’ fire on the tune Fitter Happier to know that this was unlike anything ever released, not just by the band, but by any band. Side note: This Hawking guy gets around, doesn’t he? Collaborating with Mastodon and Radiohead? I’d say with those unique vocal stylings, he has a bright future as a musician.
Everyone loved OK Computer...even The Chicago Tribune. It was immediately hailed by critics as the most important album since Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band and The Dark Side of the Moon. It routinely makes lists of the greatest albums in rock and roll. Listening to it is an emotional roller coaster even now, more than two decades later. It foreshadows the information age and subsequent alienation that we all live in today.
Exit Music (For a Film) was originally written for Leonardo DiCaprio’s Romeo+Juliet, but the movie producers selected Talk Show Host from The Bends instead. Let Down is an absolutely haunting fan favorite that is still part of live sets from the band today. Karma Police, No Surprises, and Lucky were all released as singles from the album, and probably have helped to sell as much kleenex as they did vinyl. But the standout track on their third release was the multi-movement composition Paranoid Android. Named after Marvin the Paranoid Android from The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, this song in four sections regularly appears on lists of the greatest rock songs of all time. The weird animated video cemented the song as an anti-capitalist anthem. It is a truly epic tune that drew immediate comparisons to Bohemian Rhapsody and A Day in the Life. Paranoid Android was over six minutes long and has soaring guitars and choral chanting mixed in with what sounds like an entire effects rack slowly dying by strangulation. It was the most ambitious track on an incredibly ambitious album, and critics loved every single note.
So of course, that meant that Radiohead had to abandon this sound for something entirely different.
The success of OK Computer and the tour that followed led to burnout for the band and writer’s block for Thom Yorke. When it came time to record Kid A, the band did not just take a left turn, they spun completely through a multi-dimensional roundabout. Thom Yorke set about writing the lyrics by cutting up and rearranging common sayings and phrases mixed with violent imagery and turning them into a kind of lyrical collage. In a band with four members who play some kind of guitar, they wrote songs with zero guitar lines. Thom Yorke has said that he approached his vocals on this album not as a singer with lyrics, but to use the voice more as an instrument on its own.
Since OK Computer was such a massive hit, anticipation for Kid A was high. Radiohead refused to do any promotion of the album. Nevertheless, the record company released the artwork and some ‘blips’ from the songs. The band played some tracks on tour and an underground internet market for bootlegs emerged. Three weeks before the release date the entire album was leaked on Napster.
When it was officially released in 2000, critics did not know what to make of it. Radiohead released no singles from the album. Some called Kid A commercial suicide. Others said it was confusing and aimless and self-indulgent, and the only challenging thing about the album was the very real challenge to your attention span. But history has vindicated this soaring, orchestral jazz-inspired album. Tracks like Everything in its Right Place and How to Disappear Completely and Idioteque are fan favorites. And I don’t care who you are, The National Anthem is a complete banger.
So the pattern was established: Each album was a complete pivot, and challenged their listeners to adapt to the new sound. Right?
Wrong again, motherfucker.
Amnesiac, released in 2001, picked up right where Kid A left off. This was completely intentional, since the writing sessions for Kid A had yielded too much material for one album. At one point, a massive double album - Kid Amnesiac? - had been contemplated, but the band decided to split the two. Sometimes derided as the B-Sides from Kid A, Amnesiac saw the band dive straight into ProTools and AutoTune and backmasking every single effect ever. This is blended with influences from Jazz and, presumably, whatever was on BBC World Service that day. They did release a couple of singles, notably Pyramid Song and Knives Out. QotSA fans will love a B-Side off of this album called The Amazing Sounds of Orgy which bears a striking resemblance to music from our paleolithic monarchs.
I’m not sure if you remember or not, but 2001 was a bonkers year. Kid A and Amnesiac were albums that were embracing the shift to the information age and incorporated electronica into music. But in the wake of the terrorist attacks in the US and the subsequent invasions of Iraq and Afghanistan, the entire global mood lurched from one of hope for the future to fear for our safety. Radiohead’s angriest album, Hail to the Thief, released in 2003, and captures that sense of urgency and distress. The core of the album was recorded in two short weeks in Los Angeles, with the band workshopping and completing almost one song per day. Given the complex reengineering that they had previously done on the last three albums, this was a significant shift in process. 2 + 2 = 5 was finished in just two hours.
The lyrics on the album were a grab-bag of quotes from Dante and nursery rhymes and science fiction and reflections on the election of George Bush Jr and the subsequent war on terror. Every song has an alternate title (because, well, Radiohead) and thus an alternate meaning. Ultimately, it is an album that cuts through the fog of war and is a massive critique of what the band perceived as the naked opportunism of turning real tragedy into profit (hence the album title). A little over two months before it was due to release, the album was AGAIN leaked online. This completely pissed off the band , as it was an unpolished version. The actual release was in June of 2003. And of course, Hail to the Thief soared to number one, on the strength of songs like There There and Backdrifts and Scatterbrain and the incredibly angry I Will. Critics fell in love with Radiohead all over again.
Hail to the Thief completed Radiohead’s six-album contract with EMI. This made them the world’s most popular unsigned band. But at this point, they had become too big for any one label, though many came knocking. They went on a hiatus to catch their breath and reflect on where they had come from.
Recording sessions for In Rainbows began in 2005 but stalled. The band tried again in 2006 and stalled again. The band took to the road and played the new songs live to work out the kinks. This seemed to work, because the third time the band went into the studio things started to click. In Rainbows has a post-anger clarity to it. Tunes like Jigsaw Falling into Place and Nude and House of Cards show the band had moved past their past, and were once again pioneers in the new frontier.
But what truly set the album apart from literally anything else in 2007 was the way it was released. Remember how Hail to the Thief and Amnesiac were leaked online? Well, Radiohead did what only a wildly popular unsigned band could do: they released In Rainbows online for free. They just asked people to pay whatever they wanted. This was a tectonic shift in the music industry which had seen profits spiraling downwards with the rise of single song purchases through digital platforms. Free music? For anyone? Once again, Radiohead completely challenged the existing model - just in a brand new way.
Oh, and I cannot stress this enough: Get yourself a set of good headphones and spend 43 minutes just listening to In Rainbows without distraction. It is a god damn amazing album with absolutely fantastic production. It is easily their most accessible album since The Bends.
Fans of Radiohead would have to wait another four years before their eighth album, The King of Limbs, was dropped. Named after a tree in Wiltshire, England, the album again is a shift in sound for the band (I know, I know, this is a complete shock for you). Released as a digital download, management stated that this was the most profitable album for the band out of all of them since there was no record label to feed. The songs are laced with looping and sampling and electronica. Heavy rhythms dominate and are interspersed with wind sounds and bird song. Basically, if you released this album on bandcamp, no one would pay any attention...but Radiohead released it, and it was an instant hit. The video for Lotus Flower spawned Thom Yorke dancing memes, which makes complete sense if you have seen it. It must be experienced to be understood.
Radiohead’s ninth and most recent release is 2016’s A Moon Shaped Pool. Eschewing birdsong this time, this album leans heavily into choir and orchestral and strings and chamber music to craft its sound. It is a broad commentary on climate change and groupthink. Burn the Witch, with its claymation video, is a visual treatise on the dangers of the mob and getting caught up in the moment. True Love Waits was a song that the band had been working on since 1995 and shows them at their disconsolate best.
And yes, A Moon Shaped Pool again hit number one on the charts.
At this point I am certain that Radiohead could piece together the sounds of dumping cutlery on the floor, whalesong and goose honks together with the back-masked theme from The Legend of Zelda to write a song about losing your umbrella on a rainy day...and have a number one hit. And if they do just that, I expect royalties.
What is certain is that fans are eagerly anticipating where Radiohead will go next. They are ready to embrace whatever change Thom Yorke and the boys throw their way, and don’t spend their time bitching about how the latest album from the band just isn’t as good as the rest of their discography.
There is a lesson to be learned there somewhere.
Links to QOTSA
Our prehistoric monarchs and Radiohead both have some things in common. The theme of change is absolutely one of them. Each album is an evolution (or revolution ) from what has gone before, and some of the fanbase can find this challenging.
Interestingly, both bands recorded songs called Burn the Witch, and both are indictments of groupthink. Josh’s version states, There they are, the mob it cries for blood, to twist the tale, into firewood.. Thom Yorke sings, Red crosses on wooden doors, and if you float you burn, loose talk around tables, abandon all reason. Written at different times by different artists, both explore the same theme with different sounds.
Josh has not been shy about how much he loves Radiohead. He has stated, “Not everyone is Radiohead. You’re talking about one of the finest working bands in the world…In Rainbows? I think it’s fucking just comes out of a jam and keeps moving, and little things get stacked on top of what we hear before something else gets taken away, you know? It’s very cool. We were in New York when we heard the first single, and we were like shit, they’re haulin’ ass, that’s awesome.”
Both Homme and Thom Yorke have worked (albeit at different times) on the trip hop / alt rock band UNKLE. Yorke appeared on their second album, Psyence Fiction, lending his vocals to the song Rabbit in Your Headlights. Meanwhile, Homme played on their third album, War Stories. In particular, Josh sang on the song Restless, which is a certified banger.
Their Music
Creep -- over 421 MILLION views, incredibly popular, and hated by the band and hard core fans.
High and Dry -- Of course it ends in the rain.
Just -- Just an amazing video that tells an amazing story. Does anyone else still wonder what he said? In my opinion, I think he must have disclosed the reason why kids love the taste of cinnamon toast crunch. This knowledge is too much for mortal men.
Karma Police -- Let’s take a drive, there’s no way that could end poorly.
Paranoid Android -- I hope this makes you want to buy a purple toque, and not a g-string pouch for your family jewels.
Let Down -- Live in 2016
Everything in Its Right Place/Idioteque -- Live in 2016
The National Anthem -- A fanmade video with a cool visualizer.
Pyramid Song -- If you told me Boneface had a hand in this video I would believe you.
Knives Out -- This acid trip will give you nightmares about the game of Operation.
The Amazing Sounds of Orgy -- This sounds like it is right off of Lullabies to Paralyze.
2 + 2 = 5 -- Disclaimer: there is no actual math involved.
I Will -- Live in Paris
Jigsaw Falling Into Place -- All helmet cams, all the time (all the time)
House of Cards -- Apparently this video was shot with one of those pin things that you press against your face.
Lotus Flower -- So. Many. Memes.
Burn the Witch -- A low flying panic attack.
Show Them Some Love
Previous Posts
Alice in Chains
King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard
Rage Against the Machine
Run the Jewels
Royal Blood
Arctic Monkeys
Ty Segall
Eagles of Death Metal
Them Crooked Vultures
Led Zeppelin
Greta Van Fleet
Ten Commandos
Screaming Trees
Sound City Players
Iggy Pop
The Strokes
submitted by House_of_Suns to qotsa [link] [comments]

2020.09.15 00:30 MC_Broomstick "the homosexual are literally a step backwards in evolution"

I'm a beautiful masculine male with a natural mesomorphic body frame and a facial structure that reminds most of Leonardo DiCaprio in his youth and your words scare me for the simple fact that they are so relatable to me.
I'm an utter faggot; i enjoy to submit and engage in the most depraved instances where i bring another man to sexual climax.
I've sucker over 20 cocks, been fucked by at least 3 guys, and even let a guy bareback me whom of which i met off Grindr.... I've dated models, and literally had 2 beautiful women in a love triangle before.... i hate myself for my submissive tendencies.
the homosexual are literally a step backwards in evolution
(found on 4chan)
submitted by MC_Broomstick to copypasta [link] [comments]

2020.09.05 00:41 XENOCIDESAM [Reminder] Join the r/LeedsUnited Mod Team

Hi guys,
Before you ask yourself, no it's not groundhog day don't worry!

This is just a reminder that we're currently looking for a couple of you to join the Mod Team.
We'd originally set a date of yesterday evening for people to apply - but we're now extending that to Sunday evening.

So, we thought we'd just give a bit of a run down of what we're looking for;
- A bit of experience; we're not necessarily asking for an 11 year stint like Thatcher but some experience as a mod here on Reddit, similar sites, or even irl roles that show you've got the starter set of tools for the job would be grand.
- Active and interactive; again, you don't need to prove you've fed a crowd of thousands with five loaves and a couple of BirdsEye fillets (other brands are available) - but if we can see you're one of the many keen thousands of Bielsa disciples then we'd love to see what miracles you can work.
- Fair and friendly; right, I assume you get the gist now? As long as you're not flinging Paddy Bamford insults in strife every matchday, calling for Orta's head whenever one of his signings misspasses and you can interact with people like a normal human being, you're a suitable candidate.
Bonus features (\if you've got some of these we may even pay you $$$)**;*
- Available on matchdays; we're really keen for one of our new mods to be available on matchdays - \*which means a seat next to Radz and Orta in the directors box*. It's nothing huge, just making sure our sub doesn't get nuked by the Reddit gods for 50 people asking for match streams, every time.
- Design experience; think you could give Leonardo a run for his money? (da Vinci, not DiCaprio - as handsome a man he is)... well, a bit of design experience wouldn't go astray; logos, banners, football stuff - all good skills to have.
- Understanding of CSS; if you don't know what CSS means it's to do with that little squiggle on our shirt in front of our new sponsor looking like we're straight out of the Fourth Reich. All heil u/XENOCIDESAM... just kidding, but this point is self explanatory.
- Can make a good coffee; know your cappuccinos from your americanos? Your espressos from your macchiatos? Your mochas to your lattes? Good for you - you won't need this skill.

If you tick all the boxes, great - apply before I turn up at your house! If you think yeah I can do a few of those, but I don't like Paddy Bamford then join the club (just kidding)! Basically, if you fancy it - give it a shot as the application will only take 5 minutes of your time and what else have you got to do other than waiting around for some random so-called "journalist" with a big white tick on Twitter to tweet that De Paul has ditched off Bielsa's Boys to sign for MK Dons?

Anyway, fancy giving it a go...? Yes you do!
We'll be accepting applications until sometime this Sunday evening, is this post still stickied? Well we're still accepting applications - so what are you waiting for?

Any questions, just drop us a Modmail. Cheers!

Thanks everyone and stay safe,
- LeedsUnited Mod Team

\ Just kidding, you'd have better luck begging in the middle of the Sahara.*
\* Again, this may not actually be included with the mod role... sorry.*
submitted by XENOCIDESAM to LeedsUnited [link] [comments]

2020.08.26 04:22 JimmyMangrove Viva Italia: A Novel Coronavirus Novel Chapter 1-5

1. Lucressi for President
My name is Lucressi Vicente Palamaro, and if there’s one thing I definitely am, it’s Italian. Right now, I’m sitting on my balcony in a high-rise pretty close to the center of Milan. The sky is turning burnt orange in the dusk; it’s your standard evening sun: beautiful but groggy, with an energy akin to the cessation of day-drinking. Lazy and stupefied. On their balconies, my neighbors sip boiled tap water and munch stale garlic bread dipped in Extra-Chunky Praegu™ sauce. The scents tantalize my nostrils. But I am not tempted. I have no time for food. Sentinel duties preoccupy me completely. My binoculars are trained on the space between two nearby apartment buildings, through which I observe a craggy Italian mountain. A mostly barren mountain, spotted with patches of dark green grape vines. I notice a boy herding sheep up a rocky crag. He’s got a towel wrapped around his head as protection from the still-potent sun.
I run inside, find my telephone charging on the counter, dial 911.
“Police? Caio, Police,” I say. “There’s a boy on the loose. An ambulator. A violator of lockdown. A shitter-onner of decency. He’s walking sheep up a crag in the mountains. Yes, absolutely. Spreading coronavirus. Not even wearing a hazmat suit. My uncle, he’s 82! Highly at-risk. That prick’s gonna murder my uncle. You gotta do something, police. Which mountain is it? How am I supposed to know. Well, I live at the intersection of Sfumato Street and Leonardo Di Caprio Lane. And the mountain, from my vantage point, is visible between the two apartment buildings just north of me on Meatball Road. Does that narrow it down for you? It does? Great. You’re sending someone right now? Good, thank you.”
I return to my balcony. The boy has situated himself on the edge of an ancient stone well. He’s got a stick slung over his shoulder with a sack tied to the end. From the sack, he removes a loaf of bread and what appears to be a hunk of gorgonzola cheese. A little lamb nuzzles against his knee; he pats it on the head. No doubt, he’s just transmitted coronavirus to the lamb. And now whoever eats that lamb is gonna die. And whoever wears clothing made from its wool is gonna die. The boy is a murderer, plain and simple. He munches a bit of cheese, tears off a hunk of bread with his teeth, chews vigorously, with satisfaction. The smug satisfaction of a deranged psychopath. I watch him pull a flask from the sack and take a slug of wine before slipping off the edge of the well. He balls up his towel, lays it on the ground, reclines.
How can the boy nap peacefully, knowing full-well he’s murdering millions of people? I’m always astounded by the psychopath’s ability to maintain a clear conscience in the face of his unholy transgressions against humanity. Here I am, a man of high moral understanding and noble social concern, performing self-assigned sentinel duties for the good of the people, yet I can hardly sleep at night thinking of all the dead elderly. All the dead at-risk. And I’m not even responsible for killing them! How can this murderer slumber like a contented babe? A satisfied infant made drowsy by the rich milk of his loving mother’s teat. Murder nourishes his soul. What an ass-munch. A big stupid dummy. And a real jerk, to boot.
Rumbling. Chopping. A helicopter passes overhead. All of the good, moral folks out on their balconies: they point at the helicopter. What is its purpose? Why is it passing so low overhead? Has it located a dissenter? Why yes, it has. Thanks to me.
The helicopter slows as it approaches the mountain. The boy, conscious now of the whirly bird, rushes for cover amongst the grape vines. But his efforts prove futile. The helicopter unleashes a relentless barrage of machine gun fire. The boy rips in half. His head explodes like a balloon filled with red wine. His coronavirus-tainted blood seeps into the ground, defiling the earth. The helicopter has no choice but to fire six missiles into the vineyard, incinerating and purifying the soil. Eradicating the tainted sheep. Bringing salvation to the masses.
My compatriots, me and my scientifically aware and morally superior brethren, we erupt in cheers of gratitude and praise. Our government loves us. Our government has neutralized the threat so that someday—perhaps not this year and perhaps not next year or the next—but at least some year sometime at some point in the future, we will leave our apartments and once more roam the streets of Milan, attending fashion shows and admiring marble statues and watching soccer games and eating ravioli and, of course, drinking red wine brewed by our elderly grandfathers, who remain alive because of people like myself. Having by then cemented my reputation as a covid-eradicator, I will embark upon my political career. I will ride the coronavirus like a rocket to the moon. The moon being a metaphor for the Italian Presidency. Such is my destiny. Such is my fate.
When the cheers die down a bit, I can’t help but cry out, “I, Lucressi Vicente Palamaro, your highly scientifically aware and socially conscious brother, am responsible for the destruction of that corona-infested vermin. It is I who informed the police. It is I who saved your lives. And not just your lives, but, even more important, the lives of your at-risk, elderly loved ones. Viva Italia! Viva Milan!”
“All hail Lucressi Vicente Palamaro!” cry my neighbors. They lean over their balconies and throw imaginary food and imaginary gold and imaginary roses at me. A dark haired girl of 19, flanked on both sides by her approving parents, blows me kisses. In a year or twelve, once the curve has properly flattened, they will present their daughter to me, no doubt about it. They will make her available to me for courtship rituals. Me and the girl: we will go on rural walks and her parents and grandparents and siblings and uncles and dogs and cats will trail behind at a respectful distance. And I will pause and pluck a delicate daisy and place it behind my beloved’s ear. And her relatives, they will sigh plaintively, wishing they, for even just a single moment, could experience a love as pure as mine. Yes oh yes. I, Lucressi Vicente Palamaro, shall someday marry that girl. Unless a better option comes along in the meantime.
“You’re most welcome!” I shout. “And now, I have a special little surprise cooked up for you. Wait one moment.”
“What is it? What could the surprise be?” shout my balcony-imprisoned neighbors as I disappear into my apartment.
I return with a Spanish guitar, rest it in my lap, tilt one ear toward the guitar’s hole and one ear toward the heavens, channelling the muse of the angels. A chord, I strum. Such lush sounds. Everyone marvels at the beauty of this chord, the first chord of the traditional folk song Italians are the Best and Your Shit Country Can Eat a Dick.
A man clutching a saxophone leans over the edge of his balcony. He winks and nods at me before bringing the saxophone to his lips. How unexpected! How delightful! Me and the saxophone guy: we play as one, as a single heart; we symbolize the unity of the Italian people. Not just the unity, but the collective soul of Italians. More Italians procure their instruments. An accordion joins the fray. Yes! Then a keyboard. Housewives keep time with tambourines. Children clap rhythmically. Old men shuffle their feet, dancing. No wait. Scratch that. All the old men are dead from coronavirus. It’s actually men between the ages of 55-65 who shuffle their feet. Not young, but not particularly old either.
Every Wop within a four mile radius is on his or her balcony, playing along or listening. The coronavirus might confine our physical bodies. But it cannot confine our souls! Why? Because we are Italian! That’s why! We invented garlic bread. We invented mozzarella sticks. We invented chicken parm. We invented espresso. We invented the steam engine, the television, the printing press, modern dentistry, and iPhones! Once a peoples invents iPhones, that peoples’ soul is free forever. Not even coronavirus can crush the soul of iPhone inventors. Pepperoni Bagel Bites? That was us! Scissors? Us too! Though we did not invent running with them: no, no. That was the French. But airplanes? Hell yes, that was us. And Extra-Chunky Praegu sauce? 100% the product of Italian ingenuity.
We play through the song once, and then, on the second go-around, we begin to sing. Collectively. As one. Channelling all that we are: which is to say, Italian. It is our favorite traditional folk song, and it goes:
We are the Italians, and we’ve got gigantic dicks.
But your country? It slobs on knobs, your country is our bitch.
The French are homosexuals in scarves and lame berets.
And the Spanish are a bunch of Moors, not to mention latent gays.
Switzerland? Not even a country. It’s just parts of other ones.
And the British? They can’t cook for shit, those pompous limey bums.
America, Ashmerica. They’re faggots through-and-through.
But Italians? We’re the best, and we shit all over you.
A most heartwarming experience, all of us separate but together. Hopefully, someone is recording the proceedings and will post this evidence of our unity to various social media platforms. So the whole world understands that Italians are one heart and one mind. The adversary can cage Italians, but it cannot cage our souls. We know why the caged bird sings: because its heart is filled with eternal hope. The enemy will not overcome. And who is the enemy, the cager? Psychopathic sheep-herding boys. Middle aged women roaming alleys because they “need to stretch their legs.” Coughing toddlers intent on watching the world burn. Old men (well, actually men between 55-65) walking across grass just because their dogs need to shit. But really, these people are the mere henchmen of the true villain, which is invisible. Microscopic. Miniscule. Floating in the air. Attached to sneeze guards in restaurants. Hanging out on railings in shopping malls. Covertly hiding under table tops. Biding his time. Waiting to strike. Waiting to kill the at-risk and elderly and then…everyone else in the world. But the enemy will not succeed.
Why? Because I, Lucressi Vicente Palamaro, remain vigilant. I am the sentinel of my block. And the adjacent blocks. The sentinel of everything within binocular vision, really. And I have some powerful binoculars. 100x magnification. Or maybe 10x. The magnification factor is not printed on the binoculars themselves; I better check the manual. Yes, I will go do that now. It’s a matter of life and death. It’s a matter of the survival of the Italian people and 5,000 years of history. To think, the fate of the nation rests on the zoom capacities of my binoculars. A great responsibility weighs upon these shoulders of mine. But I am up to the task, for I am Lucressi Vicente Palamaro, and I am Italian.
2. Luigi’s Grave Error
Holy shit. They’re out there singing again.
I take a bong hit, exhale a milky stream through my nostrils.
They started with Italians are the Best and Your Shit Country Can Eat a Dick and now they’re onto I’ll Stay Inside Forever, For I Love My Fellow Man. After that, they’ll most likely do Please Government Contain Us and Save Us From Ourselves. They’re gonna be at it for hours. They always are. And I’ll bet I know who started it: that rat bastard Lucressi Vicente Palamaro. He’s one helluva royal douche, though I’ll admit he does more than his fair share in the fight against coronavirus.
But those tambourines, man! Once they get going, they never stop. If I die of coronavirus, at least I won’t have to hear tambourines anymore. Should I infect myself? Suicide by coronavirus? It’d probably be a lot easier to just jump off my balcony. I’ll do it while Lucressi’s out on his, making another speech about his own greatness. Land right on his fat head. Snap his neck. Break his back. Yes.
I’m going crazy. It’s this weed. No, it’s staying in my apartment 167.25 hours per week. For the last 6 months. With no end in sight. Only leaving my house once a month for my allotted trip to the supermarket. Draped in my (state-issued) hazmat suit. When the fuck is this curve gonna flatten?
I take another phat rip. It goes straight to my head. Feels real good.
Uh oh.
A cough coming on. Got a bit too greedy with that last hit. My lord, hacking up a lung would feel amazing right now. You know you’ve taken a good hit when your face turns red and you nearly suffocate from hacking. At least, that was a good hit 6 months ago. Now a hit like that could put me in a Rehabilitation Center.
I must, absolutely must, restrain myself. If my neighbors hear a cough, they’ll inform the police. I’ll have the fuzz beating down my door in less than two minutes.
My throat irritation grows stronger. I look like I’m laughing, my chest heaving up and down. But inside my heart is filled with panic. Water. I must have water. I lift up the container resting by my feet: it’s empty. Fuck. And I finished my last liter of cola last night. The tap water is infested with coronavirus, so it’s of no use. I should have boiled a fresh batch of tap water last night, but I was too lazy. There’s gotta be some other form of liquid that might soothe my throat.
I rush to the kitchen: I’ve got liquid dish soap, a bottle of Drainex, a bottle of Windex, and an aerosol can of Lysol. Those liquids won’t do. No no. In my pantry, between silent heaves, I find a jar of Extra-Chunky Praegu. Ole faithful. Every Italian has a jar of Extra-Chunky Praegu on standby. And now this jar is going to save my life.
Frantically, I twist the lid, but it won’t budge. My hands are too weak and tiny—the product of my mother’s prenatal crack addiction. And I’ve got tiny feet to boot. And a micro-penis. Not to mention man-boobs. Gynecomastia it’s called in medical parlance. And worst of all, if you lift up my ballsack, you will discover a half-developed vagina, its entryway leading nowhere. A vestigial vagina, one could say. Except it never had a use in the first place. It’s not the remnant of evolutionary forces, but the remnant of crack addiction. Specifically, my mother’s. Oh, why couldn’t Mamma love me enough to cease smoking crack for just 9 months? Why did she put her addiction before her unborn child? Why did she force me to live with the byproduct of her own weakness? It’s not fair! I hate you, Mamma! I hate you, Mamma! No, wait, I take that back. I love you Mamma! You are everything to me. My troubles are my own fault: I shouldn’t have rushed inside your egg before the other sperm had a chance. If I mind being born so much, I should have let another sperm live instead. You know, a sperm that actually appreciates what he’s given. A sperm that doesn’t act so entitled. Isn’t that what you always called me, Mamma? A self-entitled sperm? I should be grateful that I have hands at all. Some moms smoke so much crack, their babies are born with little nubs for arms. And two heads! And congenital heart defects. Pulmonary valve stenosis. At least I don’t have that. It could be worse. Isn’t that what you said? Oh, Mamma! Mamma! I love you, Mamma! Why didn’t you love me?
In my fit of self-loathing anger, I forget about the primary task at hand: soothing my raw throat. I lose sight of the goal completely. And as a result, I make a grave mistake. I cough. Not a big, heaping, hacking cough. Just a little soft cough. But it is enough. The music outside stops instantaneously. I feel more coughs coming on. I have to do something. If I cough again, cops in hazmat suits will put a battering ram to my door and take me away. Or just execute me on the spot.
I can’t think clearly. I must access the Extra Chunky Praegu. It’s the only way to soothe my throat. The tap water is five-parts coronavirus to one-part H20. It’s not an option. I throw the glass container against my kitchen floor. It shatters; I fall to my knees, lick Extra-Chunky Praegu off the floor.
Outside, my neighbors wail from their balconies: “A cough! Did you hear it? Someone in our very building has the coronavirus. Rabble rabble rabble! Rumble rumble rumble!”
“Silence!” shouts Lucressi Vicente Palamaro. “We won’t hear another cough over your wailing. If we want to identify the evildoer, we must listen for his cough. And yes, he WILL cough again, as one of the symptoms of coronavirus, assuming it is not asymptomatic, is a lingering dry cough that lasts for weeks, if not years. So cease your rumblings!”
The neighbors comply. Total silence reigns supreme. Thankfully, the Extra-Chunky Praegu, one of the finest inventions in the history of Italy, is doing its job. My throat is alleviated. I need not cough again.
On my hands and knees, I continue to lick away, grateful that I will live to see another day. But then, a terrible thought dawns on me. I pause mid-lick—my tongue still stuck to the floor—so that I can contemplate this terrible thought in more depth. The coronavirus lives on linoleum surfaces for up to 12 millennia. It’s a scientific fact verified by leading virologists from across the globe. And just 6 months ago, before the coronavirus pandemic really hit us, I had allowed friends and family and plumbers and prostitutes to traipse about on my linoleum floor. Without a doubt, the soles of their shoes carried infinite payloads of coronavirus. Which is now living on my floor. A floor to which, at this very moment, my tongue is attached.
Dear. Lord. I’ve just contracted coronavirus!
3. Mario the Innovator
The problem with hospitals is that they’re overwhelmed. The doctors in them: they don’t have time to develop coronavirus vaccines. They’re too busy treating the elderly and at-risk. That’s why it is up to me to develop a vaccine. Being retired, I’ve got time on my hands.
They told me a man can’t have a baby just because you unsewed his bellybutton and attached a synthetic vagina to his stomach. And then, using a turkey baster, you injected 6.5 fluid ounces of baboon sperm into his stomach. He lacks the internal organs necessary to carry a baby, they told me. And he produces no egg. And baboon sperm can’t inseminate human eggs in the first place. That’s what they, the scientific community, said. And you know what? They were right.
But this time, I will prove the scientific community wrong. They say developing a vaccine is nearly impossible since the coronavirus mutates 36 times per nano-second. By the time we have a vaccine, it will have morphed into a different variety of coronavirus, most likely the dreaded covid-20, and then our vaccine will be worthless.
Our preeminent virologists must invent a special type of vaccine, one that mutates along with the virus. But again, they’re too busy saving the at-risk and elderly. The acute crisis has diverted them from finding a long-term solution. It’s a hopeless situation, they say. A retired anesthesiologist (that’s me) does not possess the requisite knowledge to create such an advanced vaccine, they say.
They are wrong! Never underestimate anesthesiologists! And never underestimate me, the esteemed Dr. Mario Vicci. Italian born, Dominican Republic educated. Winner of the Western Milan Community Hospital Employee of the Month Award, October 1984. Seducer of 13 different nurses between the years 1974-2004. Vanquisher of pain. Bringer-onner of unconsciousness before surgery. Imagine having your arm amputated without anesthesia. You wouldn’t like it, would you? Thanks to me and my anesthesiologist brethren, you’ll never have to face such an abominable tribulation.
But my capacities are not limited to anesthesiology. I am a medical innovator in the wider sense. A breaker of new ground. Thanks to me, it has been definitively proven that baboon semen cannot impregnate human males. Yes, other scientists may have theorized that this was the case. But those were mere theories. I PROVED the incompatibility of baboon sperm and men. I am an intrepid explorer of biology. A fearless, innovative wunderkind of the medical world.
Because of my fearlessness, I have already learned something very important about coronavirus. Everyone knows not to look at coronavirus under a microscope. If you do, its radioactive emissions will interact with the lactose in your retinas, inducing terminal seizures of the most violent nature. Immediate death. Not even sunglasses block the radiation. Not even polaroid sunglasses block the radiation. Everyone who has laid eyes upon coronavirus in its magnified form is dead. But if that’s the case, how could scientists warn the public of its radioactive properties in the first place? Those who have gained said knowledge would be dead, right? See, something does not add up there. Something is off. I theorized that scientists made up the radioactive thing to discourage regular folks from handling the coronavirus. In absence of discouragement, many armchair doctors would attempt to create a vaccine themselves, would attempt to handle the virus and observe it under a microscope. And in doing so, accidentally infect themselves. Because these laymen don't know how to take proper precautions. And then these laymen: they would further infect the elderly and at-risk. Those with underlying health issues. Further inundating the already overwhelmed hospitals. Destroying the work-life balance of our virologist doctors and greatly reducing the probability of us Italians ever finding a vaccine.
So yes, the scientific establishment’s lies are backed by good intentions. Nobody wants to put the elderly and at-risk at more risk. And no one wants to force doctors to work 30 hour days when they’re already working 26 hours per day. 26 hours is enough for one day. I understand that fully. So their lies are benign in intent. “But wait!” you say. “They’re not lying. Coronavirus really is radioactive. Its properties do interact with the lactose in your retinas, inducing seizures. Their lies are not well-intentioned, for their lies are not lies in the first place. Their truths are well-intentioned!”
Wrong! You are wrong! For the thing that I have discovered is this: when viewed with the naked eye, the coronavirus does not induce seizures. It has no radioactive properties. And how do I know this? Get ready for the big reveal: I know this because I have seen coronavirus with my own eyes! Yes, that is the truth. My suspicions about its radioactivity, combined with my unconditional love for mankind and his well-being, combined with my gargantuan balls and unmatched bravery, allowed me to throw precaution to the wind and observe coronavirus under my microscope.
It was not difficult to find a sample, given that our tap water is five-parts coronavirus to every one-part H20. I dribbled water onto a slide and, body trembling (for I knew I was risking my life for the sake of saving humanity), I peered at the microscopic enemy of the world. And there they were: thousands of them flitting about in the water. They looked like little red balls with tiny mushrooms sprouting off them. 19 mushrooms sprouting from each ball—hence the name Covid-19. That’s where the 19 comes from: 19 tiny mushrooms. Each coronavirus ball/molecule/thing has a little tail, providing it freedom of movement via flagellation. They look kind of like sperm to be honest. Virus-sperm. Or perhaps, sperm are really viruses. Which would imply that we humans, along with many other life forms, are actually just complex viruses. To discover humans are viruses: that would be a world changing revelation unto itself. But I must push aside that line of inquiry. For now, I have only one task: to invent a coronavirus vaccine and save the world.
At this very moment, I’m about to dribble Extra-Chunky Praegu onto the virus. The virus lives by destroying humans. So anything that nourishes humans, I theorize, will conversely destroy the virus. And nothing is more nourishing to Italians than our beloved Extra-Chunky Praegu sauce. I, for one, cannot go a single day without ingesting this zesty—not to mention economical—delicacy.
I’ve got my dropper loaded with sauce. I’ll start by adding just a single drop to my coronavirus specimen. Gentle now…gent—
Huh? What is that? That banging!
I pull out my right earplug (I always wear earplugs when engaged in scientific experimentation [environmental noises break my concentration]).
My god, no! It’s tambourines! They’re at it again with their incessant banging and strumming and plucking and pounding and singing. How am I to concentrate when earplugs can’t even drown out the infernal racket? My neighbors are going to retard scientific progress by a century, those imbeciles. If I can’t concentrate, a cure will never be found. Never! Those tambourines will be the extinction of humanity.
I fall to me knees and cry out, “I hate tambourines! Shut up! Shut up! In the name of science, in the name of all that is good and holy, quit it with the fucking tambourines!”
Then I burst into tears. I cry for humanity. But most of all, I cry for the elderly and at-risk. Those with underlying conditions.
4. Luigi’s Resolution
Ok Luigi. It’s official now: you’ve got coronavirus.
Despondent, I return to my couch and bring the bong to my lips. A good ole rip always settles the nerves. But what if I cough again? I set the bong on the table, un-ripped.
Moments ago Lucressi announced, “I believe it was a false alarm. It wasn't a cough. Someone just banged his tambourine incorrectly. I implore you: handle your tambourines with respect and care. I have a sneaking suspicion it was you, Mamma Ravioli, on the balcony of apartment B22, who banged your tambourine erroneously, in a manner mimicking a cough. You have early onset Parkinson's, do you not Mamma Ravioli? Perhaps, due to your affliction, you should stay inside and refrain from joining us in song. The video of our playing is likely to go viral. And if our tambourines sound like coughs, the authorities will assume the infected live among us. And they will take us away to Infection Rehabilitation Centers. From which we’ll never return. And we don’t want that, do we Mamma Ravioli?
What’s that you say? Playing your tambourine is the only thing that brings you joy in this time of tribulation? It makes you feel at one with your fellow man? I personally don’t think you give a flying fuck about your fellow man. Because if you did, you wouldn’t endanger us by coughing with your tambourine. But you didn’t make a mistake, you say? You swear it wasn’t you? Liar! Selfish liar, trying to cover your tracks! You’re willing to send us all to Rehabilitation Centers just so you can have a little fun on your tambourine? You’re just as bad as the wretches who to take their dogs for walks. You’re on the same level as sheep-herding boys intent on infecting the world. What’s that? You’re sorry? You’ll go back inside and isolate yourself? Good. That’s a good girl, Mamma Ravioli. Be gone with you. Now, my brethren, let us resume playing. How about we do Shaking Hands Should Be a Capital Offense? I really love that tune. 1-2-3…”
And then they started banging away on their instruments again. That’s everything Lucressi said exactly as he said it. I have a very good memory. So for now, it seems, I am safe from suspicion. But poor Mamma Ravioli! How she loves to sing. And what a fine woman too! Before the lockdown, when I saw her around the neighborhood, she always implored me to visit her apartment for some of her world-famous cannoli. I only took her up on the offer once or twice—because I was a free man then, and I had much else to do—but boy were those cannoli delicious. Totally lived up to their reputation. I used to take those cannoli for granted, but now I’d do anything for a single bite. And honestly, it’s not the cannoli I desire. What I really want is to spend some face-to-face time with Mamma Ravioli. What a sweetheart. Reminds me of my great Aunt Helgavicci. To spend time with Mamma Ravioli—with anyone, really—to look into her eyes. To give her a kiss on the cheek. To hug her. To receive a supportive pat on the back. I’d do anything for some human contact! Anything! I haven’t touched another human in six months. Woe to me! Woe to Mamma Ravioli! Woe to Italy!
I bring the bong to my mouth, a reflexive act of consolation. But I quickly realize my error and refrain from lighting up.
I’ve got two weeks until the virus’s symptoms manifest. At that point, I won’t be able to control my coughs. And my neighbors will sniff me out. Should I just hand myself over to the authorities now? Get things over with? The Coronavirus Infection Task Force will take me away to a Rehabilitation Center…and no one comes back from those places. I’m afraid of those rehab centers. But I have a moral obligation to remove myself from this building, save my neighbors from the threat of infection. Yes, I had better hand myself in to the authorities. Admit that I licked the floor and got coronavirus. Take my fate like a man. I’m gonna die of the disease in the near future anyway. A painful, brutal death. Might as well do it in a rehab center, away from my healthy neighbors.
I recline on the couch pitifully and reflect on my existence.
I’ve lived a wonderful life these last 26 years, made innumerable good friends. Well, four friends to be exact. And two won’t speak to me anymore. But still, I’ve got friends. Not to mention a wonderful family. A father who taught me the value of corporal punishment. A mother who, despite smoking crack during her pregnancy, has many admirable qualities. She showed me how to finish a cigarette in two drags and how to make wine from fruit punch Kool-aid mixed with rotten bananas stolen from the dumpster behind the supermarket. That was quite a valuable skill…before the quarantine days. When a man still had enough freedom to steal from a dumpster. Ah, how I miss my mother. I wish I could visit her in the psych ward before I die.
And I can’t overlook my many accomplishments. 4th place in the 3rd grade spelling bee. It was ‘Botticelli’ that tripped me up, as I recall. By that’s not even a word! It’s just a last name. I still say there was a conspiracy against me. The other kids got easy words, like ‘gatta' and ‘mucca.’ It was Sig. Rossi, my language teacher and chair of the spelling bee, who plotted against me. He hated me because I preferred the Shakespearean sonnet structure over the Italian sonnet. But still I came in 4th place! I am a great man. A true success. A winner!
But what is my greatest accomplishment of all? Undoubtedly, my prolificness as a masturbator. Since the age of 12, I’d estimate I’ve beaten off 2.7 times per day. That’s roughly 13,797 ejaculations. And let’s not forget that I’ve slept with 4 different women, 7 including prostitutes. And one of those women, I banged multiple times, as we dated for a full 2 months. So that puts me closers to 13,850 ejaculations. Toss in a few wet dreams here and there, and we’re at 13,875. I wonder if I can make it to 14,000 ejaculations before I die? With hard work and determination, it can be done.
I reach into my pants, begin stroking, try to imagine a fresh, tight vagina…but images of my own demise pervade my thoughts. I see myself in a hospital bed, intubated. A ventilator breathing for me. A respirator wedged up my ass. Surrounded by impersonal doctors in masks. Who know not who I am. Who know nothing of my masturbatory virtuosity. Who have never seen my purple ribbon from the spelling bee. I will die alone. In an antiseptic rehabilitation center. Without saying goodbye to my crack-addicted, suicidal mother. Or my strop-loving father. Or my dear Aunt Helgavicci. Or my four friends, two of whom don’t speak to me but still technically count as friends.
No, I cannot allow myself to suffer that lonely fate! I will not hand myself in to the authorities. I will find a way to overcome this coronavirus. They say it can’t be done, but I will find a way. For I have much life yet to live. Many more goals to accomplish. And many more ejaculations to spurt.
5. Lucressi’s Promise
Excellent playing, my scientifically aware and morally superior brethren. That was the most beautiful rendition of 1 Billion Scientific Models Can’t Possibly Be Wrong I’ve ever heard. And what a lovely message it preaches: we no longer believe in ludicrous superstitions, worshiping some bearded old man in the clouds. The new religion is science. A religion based on 100% accurate facts. We don’t read the bible for edification. Instead, we turn to models. Generated by scientists of the highest prestige. With the most degrees. And the most smartness. With the best data. Which they input into their highly precise models, which are always correct. Did you see the latest model released by La Academia de Italiano Scientifico? It says at least 7.8 billion out of the earth’s 8 billion inhabitants will die by the end of the year. Thankfully, we are quarantining and treating the virus with due respect. So we shall be among the 200 million who live. I pity the remaining 7.8 billion heretics, who dare step outside their apartments without hazmat suits. They do not worship science. They are not wise like us. Brilliant like us. Perfect human specimens, we are. That’s how I’d describe us.”
“Yes Lucressi,” cry my neighbors in unison. “We are perfect human specimens. And you are the most perfect specimen of all!”
“Why thank you. Your compliments warm my heart. But now, the sun dips behind the smoking mountain. The night rests its dark veil upon us, and the virus comes out to play. So our musical communion is finished for this day. Everyone return inside and make preparations for bedtime. Tomorrow, we shall take up our instruments once more. And the day after that. And the day after that. And then for hundreds and thousands of days thereafter. For that is how long the quarantine shall last. Another year at the very least. But most likely decades.”
“Do you really mean it, Lucressi?” wail my neighbors.
“Yes, decades. According to the latest models. Released by La Academia of Italiano Scientifica. This is the new normal.”
“Oh joyous news! We get to spend 10 more years inside, saving our fellow man. We love saving our fellow man! And we love singing on our balconies!”
“As do I. As do I. Good night my beloveds. I will see you tomorrow. On your balconies. When the sun shines again.”
“We love you Lucressi! We love you! Thank you for keeping watch over us. Thank you for saving us from ourselves. And from Mamma Ravioli.”
“You are most welcome.”
Inside, I boil a pot of water, removing the 5-parts coronavirus. Well, that singing session went well. Once again, the rabble supports me as the #1 coronavirus eradicator and the #1 friend of the state. Their fearless protector. That bastard Marco in apartment D78: he won their favor last week by killing a dog-walking dissenter. Killed him right dead with a marble fired from a self-made slingshot. Fairly ingenious, I have to give Marco credit. I must make a slingshot myself, so I know the direct pleasure of killing dissenters. Tomorrow is my supermarket day. I’ll try to find the necessary supplies.
Yes, that prick Marco won much of their favor last week. But I won it back through devotion to my sentinel duties and the destruction of the sheep herder. And my beautiful guitar strumming—it always melts my neighbors’ hearts. And I can’t overlook the value of my innate leadership skills. Yes, thanks to my many gifts and talents, I am once again the undisputed king of this apartment block. Marco was just the flavor of the week. I am the flavor of the decade. And soon I shall have a slingshot of my own. Maybe I can kill Marco with it? Brilliant idea, Lucressi.
I take a sip of piping-hot, freshly boiled tap water. It tastes metallic. It tastes antiseptic. It tastes like the smell of a doctor’s office. And I love it. Life is good.
Except for one minor problem. Actually a major problem: the cough. Without a doubt, I heard a cough during our music session. I blamed it on Mamma Ravioli’s tambourine playing, but I know she was not the culprit. I only blamed her to put the real culprit at ease. Make him feel like the heat’s off. So that he lets his guard down. And perhaps gets careless and coughs again. At which point I will locate and eradicate him.
Among our own ranks, we harbor an untouchable. This person: he knows he must hand himself in to the police. That’s the proper protocol, the government rule. But he won’t do that. He’s not a good citizen. He does not respect the authority of the government or the health of the elderly and at-risk. He’s an evildoer: I could tell by the sound of the cough. It was the cough of the devil. Yes, the devil’s cough.
But he won’t be an issue for long. For I, Lucressi Vicente Palamaro, shall locate the menace and eradicate the threat. Stamp out the problem. Which isn’t really a problem, per se. Because, in destroying him, I shall win more of my neighbors’ respect and love. I will eternally cement my place as the leader of this apartment block. I will lay the foundation for my political career.
Cougher: your ass shall be mine. That I promise you. That I promise.
submitted by JimmyMangrove to u/JimmyMangrove [link] [comments]

2020.08.25 03:29 autobuzzfeedbot 18 Famous Couples I Didn't Realize Have Big Age Gaps

  1. Actor Dennis Quaid and PhD student Laura Savoie tied the knot this June. The two have a 39-year age difference — Dennis is 66 years old and Laura is 27 years old.
  2. Actors Sarah Paulson and Holland Taylor have been dating since 2015. Sarah is 45 years old and Holland is 77 years old, making the couple 32 years apart.
  3. Musicians Jay-Z (who I can't believe is 50 years old!) and Beyoncé (who is 38 years old) got hitched back in 2008. There is a 12-year age gap between the two.
  4. Model Camila Morrone recently celebrated her 23rd birthday on a yacht with her boyfriend, 45-year-old actor Leonardo DiCaprio. This makes the pair 22 years apart.
  5. Married actors Catherine Zeta-Jones and Michael Douglas share the same birthday — Sept. 25 — 25 years apart. Catherine is 50 years old and Michael is 75 years old...and they have been married for 20 years.
  6. Actor Paige Butcher is 41 years old and is engaged to 59-year-old actor Eddie Murphy, giving the two an 18-year age gap.
  7. Actor and musician Jeff Goldblum has been married to dancer Emilie Livingston since 2014. They have a 30-year age difference — Jeff is 67 years old and Emilie is 37 years old.
  8. Actor Priyanka Chopra — who is 38 years old — has been married to 27-year-old singer Nick Jonas since 2018. There are 11 years between them.
  9. Actor Alec Baldwin is 62 years old and has been married to 36-year-old health expert and author Hilaria Baldwin for eight years. The two have a 26-year age difference.
  10. Actor Harrison Ford (who is 78 years old) and actor Calista Flockhart (who is 55 years old) have been married since 2010. They are 23 years apart in age.
  11. Publicist Simon Halls — who is 56 years old — is married to 42-year-old actor Matt Bomer. The couple, who have a 14-year age gap, has been married since 2011.
  12. A little over a year ago, 70-year-old musician David Foster married 36-year-old actor Katharine McPhee. Their age gap is 34 years.
  13. Actor Bruce Willis is 65 years old and he is married to model and actor Emma Hemming Willis, who is 42 years old. The two — who have a 23-year age gap — have been married since 2009.
  14. Singer and songwriter Billy Joel is 71 years old and has been married to 38-year-old Alexis Roderick, a former Wall Street exec, for five years. They have a 33-year age difference.
  15. Seventeen years apart, Amal and George Clooney have been married for six years. Amal is 42 years old and George is 59 years old.
  16. Blake Lively, 32, and Ryan Reynolds, 43, have been married since 2012. The actors have an 11-year age gap.
  17. Actor Matthew McConaughey — who is 50 years old — is married to model Camila Alves — who is 38 years old. They have been married since 2012 and have a 12-year age difference.
  18. And, lastly, 47-year-old model and television personality Heidi Klum got married last year to guitarist and songwriter Tom Kaulitz, who is 30 years old. They have a 17-year age gap.
Link to article
submitted by autobuzzfeedbot to buzzfeedbot [link] [comments]

2020.08.20 10:40 anteljubic My biggest accomplishment :)

I was born on the same date as the big meme man Leonardo DiCaprio, november 11th :)
submitted by anteljubic to teenagers [link] [comments]

2020.08.19 02:00 TopOfTheBot Top Posts and Comments of the Day

Top of the Day for 19/08/2020

For frequently asked questions, please click here. Times shown on this page are in UTC, and dates are displayed as Day/Month/Year.
There are some limitations with the Reddit API that still need to be worked around, you can help contribute to this bot through its GitHub page.

Most Upvoted Posts of the Day

First Place
My Special Talent
posted by TusharPsychic on /memes
Click here to view the post. ● 128,065 Upvotes ● Posted: 18/08/2020 at 14:58:39 UTC
Second Place
*neighing intensifies
posted by JackHoZhenXiang on /memes
Click here to view the post. ● 113,525 Upvotes ● Posted: 18/08/2020 at 08:57:30 UTC
Third Place
How Tequila is made
posted by __Dawn__Amber__ on /interestingasfuck
Click here to view the post. ● 102,733 Upvotes ● Posted: 18/08/2020 at 09:28:00 UTC
Fourth Place
Except that they won't pass out and they just keep on screaming
posted by Vesto241 on /dankmemes
Click here to view the post. ● 98,786 Upvotes ● Posted: 18/08/2020 at 10:43:39 UTC
Fifth Place
Parents at their daughter’s wedding
posted by vynilla_ on /MadeMeSmile
Click here to view the post. ● 92,483 Upvotes ● Posted: 18/08/2020 at 02:04:34 UTC

Most Downvoted Posts of the Day

This section is currently being worked on.

Most Upvoted Comments of the Day

IMPORTANT NOTE: This section may be not be accurate as it is under development. Currently this only gets the most upvoted top-level comments from the most upvoted posts today.
First Place
I feel like we might have missed some steps.
posted by canadian_eskimo on /interestingasfuck
Click here to view the post. ● 13,712 Upvotes ● Posted: 18/08/2020 at 09:55:57 UTC
Second Place
Ngl the diarrhoea tank looked pretty gross
posted by TeqTronix on /interestingasfuck
Click here to view the post. ● 7,740 Upvotes ● Posted: 18/08/2020 at 09:30:24 UTC
Third Place
This is so gorgeous. Seeing any combination of cultures together always brings about such amazing results in color, style, and fashion.
posted by Ginidin on /MadeMeSmile
Click here to view the post. ● 6,284 Upvotes ● Posted: 18/08/2020 at 02:07:32 UTC
Fourth Place
This is one beautiful family and their garments look Amazing.
posted by toolargo on /MadeMeSmile
Click here to view the post. ● 5,374 Upvotes ● Posted: 18/08/2020 at 02:49:07 UTC
Fifth Place
Dude, that’s a talent!
posted by anonymous_iwd on /memes
Click here to view the post. ● 5,144 Upvotes ● Posted: 18/08/2020 at 14:59:55 UTC

Most Downvoted Comments of the Day

This section is currently being worked on.

Most Gilded Posts of the Day

IMPORTANT NOTE: This section may be not be accurate as it is under development.
First Place
[OC] As my final 2019 Artwork, I designed the largest stained glass piece containing all Legendary and Mythical Pokemon to this today!
posted by Art_Locked on /pokemon
Click here to view the post. ● 32,531 Upvotes ● 3 reward(s). ● 1 silver reward(s), 1 gold reward(s) and 1 platinum reward(s) ● Posted: 18/12/2019 at 21:59:27 UTC
Second Place
TIFU by unknowingly worsening my acne for years.
posted by LavenderCorpses on /tifu
Click here to view the post. ● 38,408 Upvotes ● 2 reward(s). ● 0 silver reward(s), 1 gold reward(s) and 1 platinum reward(s) ● Posted: 18/08/2020 at 13:12:57 UTC
Third Place
Senate made criminal referral of Trump Jr., Bannon, Kushner and two others to federal prosecutors
posted by Archer1407 on /politics
Click here to view the post. ● 27,125 Upvotes ● 2 reward(s). ● 1 silver reward(s), 1 gold reward(s) and 0 platinum reward(s) ● Posted: 18/08/2020 at 20:14:49 UTC
Fourth Place
I’m a gun owner again.
posted by giveit365 on /guns
Click here to view the post. ● 74 Upvotes ● 2 reward(s). ● 1 silver reward(s), 1 gold reward(s) and 0 platinum reward(s) ● Posted: 18/08/2020 at 23:04:58 UTC
Fifth Place
Woody Finally Meets Leonardo DiCaprio
posted by welcometosouthapp on /PKA
Click here to view the post. ● 718 Upvotes ● 2 reward(s). ● 0 silver reward(s), 1 gold reward(s) and 1 platinum reward(s) ● Posted: 18/08/2020 at 14:53:02 UTC

Most Gilded Comments of the Day

IMPORTANT NOTE: This section may be not be accurate as it is under development.
First Place
Yeah, I used to have a bunch of fish tanks with filters. Occasional power outages would shut off the filters, which then needed to be primed. So if it was during the day while I was working or whatever, the tanks would go a while without filtration. `And yet, never lost a single fish to that. I also kept ornamental shrimp which are very delicate. Never lost any of those either. But I also loved my fish/tanks so I kept a backup sponge filter in every tank. That way I knew even if the main filters shut off, the sponges would still be doing minor filtration and aerating the water with bubbles. But even on power outage days when the sponge + hob were shut down, never had an issue. I was plenty worried and fretting my ass off about it, but the fish were all fine because their water was clean and the tanks weren't overstocked.` For these koi to die so quickly it was undoubtedly a combo of the fact that there were way too many crammed in too small of a pond, during hot weather (which decreases the amount of oxygen in the water) with so much waste saturating the water that they eventually ran out of oxygen and suffocated. They probably sat at the surface and gasped for a while before giving up the ghost. `I don't see any obvious ammonia burns, but I know first hand what a suffocated fish can look like from a nasty CO2 accident I dealt with. Just because there's no ammonia or whatever burning the fish doesn't mean the water has enough oxygen saturation for them to survive for very long. ` So basically for them to die in such a short period because a filter shut off, they were bordering on suffocating in that water for years. I guess, in the context of humans, people reading this thread can think of it like when you're at a high altitude. You can still breathe, but you're not getting sufficient oxygen flow to actually keep your blood oxygenated. PLus it feels like you're suffocating. When fish get desperate they'll go to the surface of the water and mouth breathe. They'll also try to find points with higher water flow to try and get the water flow to flow over their gills to try and take in fresher water. `I know people don't think of fish on the same level as other pets, but this thread would be like if someone tied a dog outside and let them borderline starve for 6 years, then forgot to feed them for a single night and went, \"Dang that's so sad, not my fault, sympathy pls.\" No way a single night of not getting food killed that dog. It was the months of starving it beforehand that did it. ` Not having a filter didn't kill OP's uncle's fish. OP's uncle did. Sorry to him, but I'm even sorrier for the fish that had to live like that for so long and suffered this fate. ` edit: Took out a portion about humidity to make my point less muddled in that paragraph, sorry bout that!`
posted by beepborpimajorp on /Wellthatsucks
Click here to view the post. ● 147 Upvotes ● 2 reward(s). ● 1 silver reward(s), 1 gold reward(s) and 0 platinum reward(s) ● Posted: 18/08/2020 at 02:49:24 UTC
Second Place
In 2014, the Department of Justice reported that since 1992, 47 states saw cases of \"substantiated child sexual abuse\" decline 31 percent, adding that \"For most states, the decline was gradual and occurred over several years\" and paired with a 16 percent decline in cases of physical abuse since 1995. `(BTW, a content warning for sexual assault stats in all that follows.)` This is in contrast to the '80s, which saw an average annual spike of ten percent nationwide `.[](` Earlier this year, the University of New Hampshire’s Crimes Against Children Research Center recorded a six percent rise of child sexual abuse cases in 2018, but also noted that this was the first such increase in 15 years, with director David Finkelhor adding, \"The pattern for really close to 30 years has been one of decline.\" `The 2018 estimate was about 63,000 incidents, rather than the hundreds of thousands or even millions that Twitter twats are pushing on you.[](` Further, the idea of a network of powerful predators conspiring against children and infiltrating toy companies just isn't substantiated. The CDC-funded National Survey of Children's Exposure To Violence in 2015 reaffirmed what all past research has shown: That when kids are victimized, it's almost always by friends and family members rather than strangers. `Overall, 6.1 percent of kids surveyed reported suffering some form of sexual violence in their lifetime, but just 0.5 percent reported assault by a stranger, versus more than twice as many who reported being assaulted by a \"known adult.\"` However, by far the most common form of assault was not from a stranger or from a known adult, but by an age peer: More than 60 percent of those who reported assault said they were assaulted by a minor within or close to their own age bracket. `[](` This is also a consistent statistical trend--as is the fact that the kids most likely to commit acts of sexual violence were themselves victims of it. According to Elizabeth J. Letourneau, director of the Moore Center for the Prevention of Child Sexual Abuse, \"the peak age for engaging a prepubescent child in harmful or illegal sexual behavior is 14.\" `[](` Hysterical Twitter trolls will also mischaracterize the nature of abuse: Fewer than one in six kids who reported an assault said that they were raped, whereas the most common form of abuse (well over two-thirds of all cases) was sexual harassment. And rather than very young children, the kids most likely to be victimized are teenagers ages 14 to 17. `Frantic cries about \"800K kids per year\" are, first of all, wildly out of date: According to the FBI, in 2019 there were 421,394 reports of missing children. According to the National Center For Missing & Exploited Children, 91 percent of these are runaways.` Four percent are family abductions, and only a combined two percent are non-family abductions or chronically missing lost children. The remainder of reports are actually not missing kids at all but instead \"missing youths\" age 18 to 20. Almost all missing kids return home in a short timeframe, and there are only a few hundred cases of suspected long-term stranger abduction annually. `[](` (BTW, if you do a Google search for these statistics, the search bar will suggest \"missing children 2020\" as a top likely search. The fact that so many people are looking for a statistic about a year that's not over yet is a pretty strong indicator of the poor research skills employed by the general public on this issue.) `Now to this we may well say so what, isn't just one kid too many? To which the answer is of course yes, but the facts still pose the question of why a few chattering monkeys on social media want you to think that the problem is much worse and much larger than statistics bear out.` Sociologist Jeffrey Victor notes that rumors about violence against children are \"a persistent tradition in folklore.” In fact, rumor-panics focused on children are an almost universal feature of human culture. `Says Victor, these fears are “symbols for worries about our children’s future” and, by extension, society’s future, and are much more common at times of great social anxiety. (You'll remember the old stories about needles in Halloween candy and the killer with a hook for a hand lurking around teenager's cars.)` The idea of a murky conspiracy of powerful but invisible agents attacking kids is a persistent urban myth over thousands of years and multiple cultures. Anthropologist Sherrill Mulhern refers to this as the “myth of the blood cult conspiracy.” `This is part of what cultural anthropologist Phillip Stevens Jr. refers to as cultural demonology, the attempt to exorcise social ills by fixating on “a set of ideas \[or\] a pervasive ideology” that supposedly corrupts society from within. The myth will always attribute to the hidden victimizers violations of the most offensive taboos, with the predation of children being perhaps the most common.` When rumor-panics happen, they relieve the social pressures of these anxieties. People see evidence of a vast conspiracy because they WANT it to be there. They need for the panic to happen to provide the catharsis they're looking for. In closing, I would suggest steering clear of talking much about missing children at all in this discourse. Missing and exploited children are not really what the Qult are interested in, and these references are an obvious red herring. In fact, it's pretty clear that all of this social media chatter is an attempt to legitimize Q as a child welfare movement, rather than the political death cult it actually is.
posted by SSF415 on /QAnonCasualties
Click here to view the post. ● 55 Upvotes ● 2 reward(s). ● 1 silver reward(s), 1 gold reward(s) and 0 platinum reward(s) ● Posted: 11/08/2020 at 05:57:55 UTC
Third Place
UPDATE: Wilson and I just got back from the Vet, they dewormed him and treated him for ear mites but other than that hes a perfectly healthy little kitty!
posted by Deathstroke315 on /Catswhoyell
Click here to view the post. ● 1,770 Upvotes ● 1 reward(s). ● 0 silver reward(s), 1 gold reward(s) and 0 platinum reward(s) ● Posted: 17/08/2020 at 21:18:05 UTC
Fourth Place
What Up! We're three cool guys looking for other cool guys who want to hang out in our [BEACH PARTY]. Nothing sexual. Dudes in good shape encouraged. If you are fat, you should be able to find humor in the little things. Again, nothing sexual.
posted by jrose1812 on /trashy
Click here to view the post. ● 56 Upvotes ● 1 reward(s). ● 0 silver reward(s), 1 gold reward(s) and 0 platinum reward(s) ● Posted: 18/08/2020 at 20:31:43 UTC
Fifth Place
I can’t really see what Honda would get out of merging with Nissan, if anything I’d imagine it’ll devalue their brand. `Nissan’s only savior at this point is churning out EVs. Their entire ICE lineup is either subpar or outdated and it’ll remain that way in people’s head even if they manage to overturn their lineup over night (they won’t).` But if they rebrand as this environmentally/hyper technological company, which they apparently are trying to with Arya and their “new” logo, they might have a chance to compete. ` But then again, even EVs require decent craftsmanship and engineering. Tesla’s craftsmanship sucks, but they make solid batteries and motors. I believe Nissan at the moment has neither.`
posted by sepehr_brk on /cars
Click here to view the post. ● 1,196 Upvotes ● 1 reward(s). ● 0 silver reward(s), 1 gold reward(s) and 0 platinum reward(s) ● Posted: 18/08/2020 at 03:40:21 UTC
submitted by TopOfTheBot to TopOfThe [link] [comments]

2020.08.14 09:28 Flowerchild-532 Opposite signs really do have a chemistry ✨

Here is a list I came up with of some actor and actress sun sign opposites who are known for working well together. Any others you all can think of?
-(Virgo) Taraji P. Henson and (Pisces)Terrance Howard (Empire, Hustle and Flow)
-(Leo)Amy Adams and (Aquarius)Christian Bale (Vice, American Hustle)
-(Sagittarius) Scarlett Johansson and (Gemini) Chris Evans- (The Nanny Diaries, Avengers)
-(Virgo) Adam Sandler and (Pisces) Drew Barrymore- ( The wedding singer, 50 first dates)
-(Sagittarius) Brad Pitt and (Gemini) Angelina Jolie- (Mr. and Mrs Smith, were married)
-(Libra) Alicia Vikander and (Aires) Michael Fassbender -(The Light Between Oceans and real life couple)
-(Cancer) Bob Fosse and (Capricorn) Gwen Verdon- (Were married in real life and had a child together, worked on broadway shows/dance together-Sweet Charity, Chicago and Damn Yankees)
Honorable Mentions -(Taurus) Cate Blanchett and (Scorpio) Leonardo DiCaprio (Aviator)
-(Aries) Robert Downey Jr. and (Libra) Gwyneth Paltrow- Iron Man
-(Capricorn) Jared Leto and (Cancer) Margo Robbie (Sucide Squad)
submitted by Flowerchild-532 to AskAstrologers [link] [comments]

2020.08.11 05:54 autobuzzfeedbot 16 Hidden Details In Popular Songs That I Find Unbelievably Interesting

  1. In Beyoncé's music video "Hold Up," which was released two months after the "Formation" video, we learned that the hot sauce she was singing about was actually a bat.
  2. Taylor Swift and Harry Styles, who used to date in the early 2010s, both released music videos this year featuring a grand piano overflowing with water.
  3. If you listen to "Hung Up" by Madonna closely, you can hear she sampled the iconic ABBA bop "Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! (A Man After Midnight)."
  4. In Normani and Megan Thee Stallion's "Diamonds" video, Normani reenacted Marilyn Monroe's legendary "Diamonds Are a Girl's Best Friend" number from Gentlemen Prefer Blondes — from the iconic pink dress to the background dancers in suits.
  5. Childish Gambino's "Feels Like Summer" video featured famous hip-hop artists and Black figures, including Travis Scott and Nicki Minaj. In the video, Scott tore down Minaj's tower of blocks, which was most likely a reference to their 2018 feud.
  6. Childish Gambino also featured the Smith family, celebrating the impact they've had in the music business.
  7. At the end of Lady Gaga and Ariana Grande's "Rain on Me" video, they switched hairstyles and emulated each other's signature looks.
  8. In most of Missy Elliott's music videos from the early 2000s, she displayed beautiful images and portraits of deceased R&B singer Aaliyah to honor her musical legacy.
  9. In "I Love Me" by Demi Lovato, she made a ton of references to earlier moments from her career, including the legendary Disney Channel flick Camp Rock with the Jonas Brothers.
  10. At the 2019 Grammys, Alicia Keys actually paid tribute to iconic jazz pianist Hazel Scott when she played two pianos at the same time.
  11. On the cover of the Beatles' Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band album, Old Hollywood star Shirley Temple can be seen three times.
  12. When Beyoncé honored Tina Turner at the Kennedy Center in 2005, she rocked the famous flame dress Turner was known for wearing in the late '70s.
  13. "Barbie Girl" by Aqua wasn't a clean-cut pop song about Barbie dolls — if you look up the lyrics, it was actually about sex.
  14. In Erykah Badu's music video for "Honey," she re-created famous album covers by popular artists, including Diana Ross's Blue.
  15. The Fugees' popular song "Killing Me Softly" was actually a sample of another hip-hop hit from six years earlier: "Bonita Applebum" by A Tribe Called Quest.
  16. And in Taylor Swift's 2020 video "The Man," she made a subtle nod to Leonardo DiCaprio's portrayal of Jordan Belfort in The Wolf of Wall Street.
Link to article
submitted by autobuzzfeedbot to buzzfeedbot [link] [comments]

2020.08.09 07:15 eggywitch why are people weirded out that leonardo dicaprio dates younger women

like that just means if the current one ain’t work out we can be next 😎😎😎
submitted by eggywitch to teenagers [link] [comments]

2020.08.03 00:13 seaneihm Leonardo DiCaprio isn't a creep for only dating women in their 20's. Most men would do this if they could.

Got downvoted because I criticized unsubstantiated claims about DiCaprio "grooming" women, who are in their 20's.
Studies have shown that guys of all ages find women in their 20s to be most desirable. This is a basic evolutionary drive, and I wouldn't blame Dicaprio for doing something most men only dream about.
It doesn't help that basically all Playboy models and the like are in their 20s (or younger). Look how popular teen porn is (18,19). You think only 20 year olds get off to that?
submitted by seaneihm to unpopularopinion [link] [comments]

2020.07.31 17:44 JeffreyBoswell NFL 2020: The Year In Preview

* Myles Garrett and former New Orleans Saint Kyle Turley meet for a charity helmet-removal ceremony on November 14th, the anniversary of Garrett's incident with Mason Rudolph. The event, dubbed "The Great American NFL Jerk-Off," raises $250,000 for charity.
* After 149 receptions in 2019, the Saints Michael Thomas one-ups himself, posting 150 catches, 79 more than Miami's DeVante Parker. Thomas then tweets at Parker: "Congratulations! You made the 'All Pronoun Team,' because no one knows your name. #He.'"
* DeAndre Hopkins explodes to start the season, with 32 receptions, 396 receiving yards, and 6 touchdowns in his first four games. Asked what the key to his amazing success is, Hopkins replies, "Miles and miles of separation ... from Bill O'Brien."
* Philip Rivers has the second-most famous surgery for a Colts quarterback when he undergoes a vasectomy in October. In his next game back on October 18 versus the Jets, Rivers shoots blanks in the first quarter, going 0-7.
Rivers bounces back the following week, when he and his wife announce that they're expecting their 10th child in July.
On the year, Rivers is efficient and limits his interceptions as the Colts ride the league's best rushing game and a strong defense to the AFC South title.
* In his first game as a Falcon, Todd Gurley rushes for 11 yards on 8 carries and 4 touchdowns, all 1-yard touchdown runs, as Atlanta beats Carolina, 31-24.
A knee injury sidelines Gurley in Week 4, an ailment which never fully heals. Gurley ultimately plays in only 7 games, and leads the league in touches, from the medical staff.
* Jameis Winston cuts his interception total from 30 in 2019 to 17 in 2020. Winston attributes the vast improvement not only to clearer vision due to Lasik surgery, but also to attempting only 34 passes as the backup to Drew Brees.
The Saints finish the season 12-4, one game ahead of the 11-5 Buccaneers, and beat the Buccaneers in the NFC Championship Game.
* The Las Vegas Raiders christen Allegiant Stadium on opening day as former Raider legend Sebastian Janikowski serves as Master of Ceremonies. After ceremoniously breaking a bottle of Dom Perignon on the stadium's facade, Janikowski opens another bottle and offers glasses of champagne to each of the 32 Raiderettes, who all unanimously decline to drink.
The Raiders are toast in their opener, as the Saints crush them, 31-12.
* On opening day against the visiting Chargers, a sluggish Joe Burrow tosses 4 interceptions, is sacked 5 times, and vomits on the field in the third quarter. In the post-game press conference, Burrow apologizes for his performance, and promises to learn from his mistakes, and swears he'll never spend another Saturday night with Pacman Jones.
On the season, Burrow passes for 3,756 yards and 4 touchdowns with 16 interceptions, and the Bengals finish 3-13, last in the AFC North.
* After re-aggravating a back injury on October 4th, Rob Gronkowski announces his retirement. Just two days later, Gronk agrees to terms to host two new television shows during fall sweeps, Discovery Channel's "The Science of Drinking Games," and MTV's "Celebrity Sack Tap."
* On November 1st, with the Packers holding a 10-point lead over the visiting Vikings with 7 seconds left and with possession, a heartbroken Aaron Rodgers takes a knee, and proposes to former girlfriend Danica Patrick. In a touching twist, Brett Favre rolls up in a golf cart and presents the band, a green opal set in a 100% copper ring, as well as a Copper Fit wedding gown.
Patrick declines the offer via Twitter, and later reveals she left Rodgers for David Spade.
Rodgers leads the Packers to a second-place finish in the NFC North and a wild card berth in the playoffs.
* In November, Christian McCaffrey opens a nightclub in downtown Charlotte called "Run CMCBGB's WWJD," a venue that offers Christian rock, world-class atmosphere, and exotic VIP lounges, all in an alcohol-free environment. The club shutters its doors in December due to lack of interest.
McCaffrey is all business on the field, and leads the NFL in touches for the second consecutive year, with 399, and later pens a book chronicling his 2020 season, titled "Just Give Me the Darn Ball."
* ESPN's 2021 "Body" issue breaks new ground, featuring not athletes, but the equipment that trains them. Not surprisingly, football's "Jugs Machine" lands the coveted cover spot.
* Cam Newton easily wins the starting quarterback job in New England and dominates in the Patriots first four games. Newton enters the Week 5 game against the visiting Broncos with 4 rushing touchdowns and 7 passing scores, but literally loses his "s," crapping his pants when he sees Von Miller across the line.
Amazingly, the incident leads to an endorsement deal with Nautica's fashion sleepwear, in which Newton appears in print ads saying, "When you're pooped and need a change, try Nautica pajamas."
* On his first two rush attempts as a Bronco, Melvin Gordon fumbles, and the "Melvin Gordon II" memes are born, such as "Time II Bench Melvin Gordon," "Dos Ickies," "II Bad," "All II Often," and "Boyz II Bench."
Gordon's ball-handling struggles continue into October, but he eventually turns things around, thanks to the help of a clinic of hypnotists, whom Gordon refers to as his "Dream Team."
Gordon finishes the season with 799 yards on the ground and 450 receiving yards with 7 total touchdowns.
* The Seahawks visit the Rams on November 15th, and Jalen Ramsey and Jamal Adams convene at midfield prior to kickoff. The two exchange pleasantries and discuss plans to co-write a book tentatively titled "How to Alienate Friends, Influence Public Opinion, Be the Walking Definition of 'Disgruntled' and Force a Trade."
In a Week 14 contest versus the visiting Jets, Seattle defeats Adams' former team 27-13. Adams has 2 interceptions, but complains he could have played better.
* Bears legends Mike Ditka and Willie Gault team up to promote American Home Equity Bank & Semi-trust's "Double Reverse Mortgage," which encourages elderly Bears fans to "live fast, die soon."
Chicago's on-the-field product is just as untrustworthy, and a 2-5 start results in the firing of Matt Nagy on October 27th. Ditka is briefly considered for the job along with Bob Swerski, but the assignment ultimately goes to defensive coordinator Chuck Pagano, who leads the Bears to a 7-9 finish.
* With his signature blond hair back, Odell Beckham, Jr. announces the "Blond Ambition Tour 2020." Beckham later appears on the cover of Vogue, then completes the hat trick when he reveals that he is dating Madonna.
Beckham finishes the season with 87 receptions for 1,234 yards and 10 touchdowns, while the Browns finish 9-7, behind the Ravens and Steelers in the AFC North.
* Attendance is Los Angeles for the Chargers first four home games is abysmal, with attendance averaging around 30,000 in SoFi Stadium, which seats 70,000. Many attribute it to the unwillingness of San Diego and surrounding area residents to travel to Los Angeles, a phenomenon called "SoCal Distancing."
The Chargers struggle on the field also, finishing in a tie for last in the AFC West with the Raiders at 6-10.
* Patrick Mahomes purchases an island in the Lesser Antilles on September 17th to celebrate his 25th birthday. With a massive $477 million contract under his belt, Mahomes christens the getaway "Treasure Island," and posts a Gilligan's Island-themed pic on Twitter showing Mahomes as Gilligan and Andy Reid as the Skipper.
Mahomes passes for 4,788 yards and 42 touchdowns and the Chiefs repeat as Super Bowl champions when they defeat the Saints, 31-27.
* After seeing the 2010 movie Inception, Dallas owner Jerry Jones asks his R&D department to inquire into the possibility of "planting a seed in the head of that agent of Dak Prescott's."
Jones is talked out of the scheme and into "Plan B," which is merely receiving an 8x10 signed photograph of Leonardo DiCaprio.
* Former Carolina and Dallas defensive end Greg Hardy is victimized by an elaborate prank organized by Sasha Baron Cohen. In the scheme, Cohen, posing as a UFC matchmaker named "Joo Shih Tzu," convinces Hardy to participate in the organization's first inter-gender contest, to take place at UFC 253 in Las Vegas against a female opponent to be named later. Hardy readily accepts before Cohen reveals the ruse, sending Hardy into a frenzy.
* Drew Brees finally "takes a knee," albeit just to the groin, when he appears as a guest on MTV's "Johnny Knoxville's Jackass NFL Punt, Pass, and Kick in the Balls Special." The show airs as part of the network's "Football is Back" programming on September 9th, sandwiched between 12 hours of "Ridiculousness."
* In the Packers home opener against the Lions on September 20, Aaron Rodgers connects with DaVante Adams on a 15-yard TD pass late in the first quarter. Adams then celebrates with a Lambeau Leap into the empty stands and bangs his head on an empty seat. Adams enters the NFL's concussion protocol, while the Packers secure a federal loan to outfit the end zone seats with NASCAR's "SAFER Barrier."
* Gardner Minshew II lights up the Bengals in Week 4 for 450 yards passing and 5 TD passes in a 42-17 Jags rout. Minshew is named AFC Offensive Player of the Week, and honor topped just a day later when Minshew is tapped for the role of Bo Darville in Smokey and the Bandit 4.
* Washington stuns the Cowboys, 24-23, on Thanksgiving, led by 3 TD scores, 2 on the ground, from Dwayne Haskins. Haskins celebrates back in D.C. on Friday night, a little too hard, and is cited for urinating in public, leading to the embarrassing headline "Dwayne Vein Drain" in The Washington Post.
NFC Division Winners
NFC East: Philadelphia NFC North: Minnesota NFC South: New Orleans NFC West: San Francisco
Wild Cards
Dallas Tampa Bay L.A. Rams
NFC Championship
New Orleans over Tampa Bay
AFC Division Winners
AFC East: Buffalo AFC North: Baltimore AFC South: Indianapolis AFC West: Kansas City
Wild Cards
Pittsburgh Tennessee Cleveland
AFC Championship
Kansas City over Pittsburgh
Super Bowl LV
Kansas City over New Orleans
Super Bowl LV Halftime Performers
Kanye West, Kacey Musgraves, and Tool
submitted by JeffreyBoswell to nflcirclejerk [link] [comments]

2020.07.28 21:02 teeth-of-love CASTING GOLD!! QUICK AND THE DEAD(95). Can you name a similar movie wherein if all the actors were in their prime, the movie simply wouldn’t exist due to budget issues.

Sam Rami’s The Quick and the Dead has top bill(!) Sharon Stone sharing the screen with supporting actors: Gene Hackman Leonardo DiCaprio Russel Crowe
As well as complimentary actors: Keith David Lance Hendrickson Gary Sinese
The movie was simply glut with star power. The casting director should get a post dated Oscar for whipping this group together.
What other movies do you know that share similar casting good fortune?
submitted by teeth-of-love to movies [link] [comments]

2020.07.22 15:16 doppl Why are rightoids so fucking obsessed with pedophilia, and why do they believe that "the left" will legalize pedophilia soon although we're witnessing the very opposite trend: wokeys are now close to even accuse Leonardo DiCaprio of being a pedo just for dating 20-year-supermodels.

Why are rightoids so fucking obsessed with pedophilia, and why do they believe that submitted by doppl to GoodRisingTweets [link] [comments]

2020.07.22 14:26 LeninistSkynet Why are rightoids so fucking obsessed with pedophilia, and why do they believe that "the left" will legalize pedophilia soon although we're witnessing the very opposite trend: wokeys are now close to even accuse Leonardo DiCaprio of being a pedo just for dating 20-year-supermodels.

Why are rightoids so fucking obsessed with pedophilia, and why do they believe that submitted by LeninistSkynet to stupidpol [link] [comments]

2020.07.22 04:06 ProudMalamuteowner Indian men have a father figure and role model problem. (warning: Long fucking post)

I think this even extends to our Asian brothers although I would say Asian men have it somewhat better.
No, I am not saying that Indian men grow up in single parent homes and are largely raised by their mothers, it is a different kind of father figure problem. Indian men have a father figure and role model problem, but not in the way you might think.
I kind of think about my biggest pain point in life as an Indian guy growing up in the western world and even though I made it, it took my a lot of soul-searching to find why I felt the way I felt. Why at one point in my life, I had that self-doubt of being an Indian guy or being perceived a certain way due to being Indian.
It was not even what I heard or read that did it, it was another reason which I think fuels the limiting beliefs of not just Indian men but to an extent perhaps even Asian men.
To really understand it, first let's talk about the society most of us are raised in, the western world where sex, social domination, and being the "alpha" male playboy is respected.
Now like our Asian brothers, Indian men also came to this country and did the "right" thing. Play by the rules, study hard, work hard, achieve the "American Dream", and be the "model minority". While it gave us some wealth and such, on a social level we talk all too often on this sub about how it set us back. How we are seen as the easy target you can make fun of, victims to horrible stereotypes on a social level, poorly stereotyped in the dating game, and how even a large enough number of women of our own race in their prime dating years ignore us.
Because what American society says it wants and what it really wants are different. American society on a social level wants what is "cool" and that entails being the guy who fucks a lot of different women (as much as we try to take the higher road on this sub and dismiss the value of being a playboy), is seen with the finest looking women, makes money (which we tend to do a good job of), socially dominates, and is the "bad boy" type in some ways. Think of a Hugh Hefner, Leonardo DiCaprio, a Conor McGregor, Dan Bilzerian, or any alpha macho character in American films; that is what it wants.
Then you have the majority of Indian guys.
My dad was never much of a role model to me, not only was a bad father, he was also a bad person that abused the family. I won't talk about more than that but I will talk about what I see from men of my race wherever I go. You can say we have earned our horrible stereotypes. Most Indian men, likely due to parental upbringing, end up being doormats in so many social situations. Even if we do act macho and alpha at work settings, we don't live the kind of life a lot of other people would envy outside of work.
Even growing up, we rarely get the kinds of men in our family who socially dominate men of other races and lay down the law. We rarely get our alpha protectors who we can look to for safety and as role models. What we get are a lot of miserable comic reliefs, at least I did. Even if we get men who are macho, we don't get the cool guys of our background who are getting the hottest girls and being the popular dominant leader in school.
No matter what happens, we keep playing into that nerd stereotype from our school days even as grown ups. We have not had our version of a Dan Bilzerian, as much as people may hate that guy and call him fake as shit (which he is but remember perception is reality). You don't see the Indian guy who is traveling the world to fancy exotic destinations, looking good, and getting with hot girls left to right and playing that role. So many young Indian men growing up see their role in society and it's not a good one.
Whether on a fringe celebrity level or on an actual celebrity level, we have not had guys who can serve as role models for the masculinity and alpha perception of our background. Someone we can point to and say "that's our guy".
Yes we might get tech CEOs who make boat loads of money and some Indian guy might star as a comic relief in a film or get a small role, but that is not doing it. We have not had our alpha male douchebag that we can look up to and make the world see us in a different way.
Now it might seem like I am talking about this on a fame level of worldwide fame but even on a fringe or other kinds of perception level too. We have not had our version of an alpha male sex god YouTube personality that we can proudly point to who looks good.
Even with fame not concerned, we have not had our version of the alpha macho Indian guy who is cool, looks good, does cool shit, fucks beautiful women, and lives that life to pretty much give the world a middle finger. We might get some author who writes a book but that guy is living a clean life of wearing sweater vests and doing Ted Talks.
When we get close or touch that point, it is always comic relief and a guy who ends up being embarrassing for us. We haven't had our Dan Bilzerian or our VitalyZDTV.
It was tough for me to recover from that but I did it and had some success. Even now though, that self-doubt exists in me to some degree because I don't have an Indian guy I can look to and say "that's our alpha king!".
Maybe that changes one day and this sub of all places is the cause of that.
This decade has started off crazier than usual so for better or worse anything is possible. Maybe it is one of us who one day breaks the mold. Maybe one of you read this and decide to be the change we wish to see in this world.
Maybe one day, five years from now, I am browsing on Instagram and see this Indian version of a Dan Bilzerian posing with a topless hot blonde on one arm and a topless hot Latin chick on the other in an exotic looking while looking like a sex god himself and I can boy!
Who the fuck knows.
The good part is, there is a market out there for the taking with no competition because whoever the cool Indian guys I hear about are, they are remaining awfully quiet.
submitted by ProudMalamuteowner to AsianMasculinity [link] [comments]

2020.07.18 03:36 miz_hatori My [28M] addiction to sleeping around has hollowed out my life

Dear Redditors,
(I do not know if this is the right subreddit for this, please let me know if that is the case.)
I am a young man, 28 years old, who has since finishing grad school been completely obsessed with sleeping around with women. Living centrally in a large metropolitan with a good job, okay looks and as someone who always had a relatively easy time with women, in this age of Tinder I have grown used to going out a couple of times a week with dates to hook up with them, which results in hooking up with over 100 women a year for the past couple of years.
Now, I enjoy doing this, of course. However, living this kind of life means that aside from working and the occasional grabbing a coffee or drink with a friend, pretty much all my free time goes into trying to plan dates with and go out with women. On one hand, I have a great time while doing it, connecting with women and hooking up, but I feel bad at times when I get rejected or even more so when a date cancels last minute and I have nothing to do for the night.
I naively thought that being more successful with women, i.e. sleeping with more attractive and interesting women, would somehow lead to me striking a balance between other activities and sleeping around, but this has not been the case. On the contrary, I constantly want to sleep with even more attractive women and have gotten unrealistic standards, to the point of getting anxious just seeing attractive women on the street thinking I could be sleeping with them. At times I even go out with a woman who I find both attractive, funny, interesting and with whom I have great chemistry, but finding myself unable to go out with her again since I am so focused on sleeping with new women. It is not so much the sex itself as it is bedding new women I am addicted to, though I believe it is somehow a combination of the two.
What makes this a problem (or not a problem, depending on how you see it) is that it appears to be a stable lifestyle. My career is doing fine and my financial situation is getting better, despite going out so much, so it is not like this addiction is ruining my life in concrete ways. What I fear, however, is that it is hollowing out both my romantic and platonic relationships, as sex with new people is the only thing that drives me. I just do not feel the same urge to maintain or form new friendships when I can constantly go on exciting dates and have sex in the end. Another problem is that if I, for example, on a Friday night get canceled on last minute, I feel anxiety over wasting a precious Friday night which obviously would have been prime time for going out with a woman. Recurring anxiety should not be a part of a healthy lifestyle, after all.
My philosophy around this situation is that I'll eventually grow out of it, mature and move on to a more balanced lifestyle. At the same time, as a young man with a sex drive, I can't really accept the idea that I would ever voluntarily turn down a lifestyle involving sleeping with lots of women. After all, if Leonardo DiCaprio does it, why can't I?
TLDR: I am stuck in a lifestyle revolving around sleeping around with women and I am not sure if it is sustainable or whether I am unknowingly slowing ruining my life.
submitted by miz_hatori to relationships [link] [comments]

2020.07.15 18:02 LearningIsListening A not-so-brief rundown of letters J-L of Jeffrey Epstein's 'Little Black Book'

Below is a rundown of letters J-L of Epstein's contacts. Last year, I wrote about letters A-C. You can check that out here (
I also wrote about letters D-F on July 5, 2020. You can check that out here (
I posted letters G-I on July 13, 2020. You can check that out here ( There are some misspelled names. Epstein entered their names like this.
I have bolded some of the more interesting connections and information, but there could be much more that I overlooked. I hope something here strikes an interest in someone and maybe we can get more investigations out of this. Please, if you know anything more about any of these people than what is presented here, post below. I am working off of the unredacted black book found here:
Jackson, Michael (Samuel Gen): Yes, this is a reference to MJ the singer. However, the numbers listed are not MJ’s. They belong to Samuel Gen, a lawyer for a financial advisor (Jerry Seinfeld’s brother-in-law) who worked for MJ for a while. This one was a reach for Epstein.
Jacobson, Julian: Likely a reference to a Managing Director at several London-based investment firms.
Jagger, Mick: World-famous lead singer of the Rolling Stones. Has been seen in photographs with Ghislaine Maxwell. Actress Rae Dawn Chong claims she slept with Jagger when she was 15 years old.
Jagger, Hatti: Former fashion director for Vogue, Harper’s, and Tatler. Also works as a celebrity stylist and at fashion shows.
jake: Not enough info.
Jameel, Mohammed: Saudi Arabian businessman. CEO of Abdul Latif Jameel, a collective of family-owned businesses that specialize in transportation, investing, and real estate. Royal pervert Prince Andrew infamously partied on Jameel’s yacht during the 2011 London riots (source:
James, Susie: Founder and owner of 123 Send Ltd, a company that provides payment terminals.
Janklow, Linda: Literary agent and wife of Mort Janklow, the primary owner of Janklow & Nesbit Associates, the largest literary agency in the world. Attended a party hosted by Sony Pictures with Epstein, although they are not pictured together (source: In 2007, Ghislaine Maxwell threw an exclusive party (80 carefully selected guests) at her NYC townhouse to celebrate the opening of a new shop by designer Allegra Hicks (granddaughter-in-law of Earl Mountbatten, who you can read more about in my G-I Epstein thread under India Hicks’s name). One of the eighty guests was Julie Landlow, daughter of Linda and Mort.
Jarecki, Nancy & Andrew: Andrew is a filmmaker, co-founder of Moviefone, and was a producer on Catfish, the documentary that launched the popular MTV show. Andrew’s family was reportedly friends with Jeffrey Epstein. There is an EXCELLENT thread on the connections between the Jarecki family (especially Andrew and Nick’s father, Henry) and Epstein here (source: Quick summary: Henry was born in Nazi Germany; flew on the Lolita Express; is an expert in psychotropic drugs; owns two islands in the British Virgin Islands; founded the first youth center in the British Virgin Islands; lived 2 miles from Epstein in NYC; owns and donates to many sketchy foundations, schools, and organizations; has donated at least $1 million to leftist organizations). Andrew’s wife Nancy created bettybeauty, a company that specializes in hair dye for your nether regions (not kidding).
Jarecki, Nick: The movie director brother of Andrew and son of Henry Jarecki (see link under Andrew & Nancy Jarecki for more info). Reportedly dated Courtney Love (also in Epstein’s ‘Black Book’) in 2015. Photographed with Ghislaine Maxwell at a Gucci party (source:
Jason (canada): Not enough info. Could be artist Jason Wasserman based out of Canada. The second number listed traces back to Station 16 Gallery in Montreal.
Javier: Javier Banon is former Co-head of Merchant Banking at Lehman Brothers and current Founding Partner of Trilantic Europe.
Jeffries, Tim: Ownedirector of Hamiltons Gallery in London. Best known for dating models Elle Macpherson, Claudia Schiffer, Kylie Minogue and Sophie Dahl (also in Epstein’s ‘Black Book’). Jefferies has attended fundraisers for ARK Academy and the NSPCC. He truly cares about children.
Johnson, Richard & Nadine: Nadine is a millionaire public relations guru. Nadine is a good friend of Ghislaine Maxwell’s. Some clients of Nadine Johnson include spirit cooking extraordinaire Marina Abramovic and hotelier Andre Balazs, good friend of Ghislaine. Richard is one of the most well-known gossip columnists and was the editor of Page Six for twenty-five years. There is a great thread detailing the Johnsons’ ties to the Clintons, Balazs, and others here (source: Basically, Richard Johnson is friendly with the Clintons and, as Page Six Editor, purposely did not report or downplayed stories on the Clintons and Nadine’s clients. He also took bribes. Considering Nadine is a good friend of Ghislaine, it would not be a stretch to assume that Richard could have buried stories on Maxwell and Epstein. I could spend 10 pages on the shady connections these two have.
Johnson, Lucy: Not enough info.
Jones, Ann & Mick: Mick is the guitarist of Foreigner, an immensely popular rock band in the ‘70s and ‘80s. His wife, Ann, is a jewelry designer, and friend of Ghislaine. Ann Jones was photographed at a party with Ghislaine and Donald Trump in 1997 (source:
Josephson, Barry & Jackie: Barry is a producer and the former President of Production for Columbia Pictures. Jackie is his ex-wife and also a producer.
Karella, Kalliope: Wife of Prince Pierre d’Arenberg. Kalliope is a good friend of Ghislaine Maxwell.
Kastner, Ron: No info found.
Katz, Anton & Robin Plant: Anton is CEO and co-founder of Talos Trading, which specializes in cryptocurrency. Anton and Robin are friends of and have been photographed with Ghislaine (source:
Katzeneilenbogen, Mark: Long-time investment banker who used to be based out of South Africa.
Keeling, Sarah: There is a Sarah Keeling in London who is a former British government official with 20 years of experience in national security and intelligence experience, however, the phone number listed has a 410 area code, which leads back to eastern Maryland. Inconclusive.
Kegan, Rory: A nightclub designer and creator. Co-founder of the exclusive, celebrity-filled London nightclub, Chinawhite. Prince Andrew (source: and Prince Albert of Monaco are regulars. Chelsea Clinton has been there, as well (source: Other patrons include: Prince Andrew, Kate Middleton, George Clooney, Leonardo DiCaprio, and more.
Keidan, Amanda: Owner of Keidan Jewelry.
Keidan, Jon: An entertainment executive-turned-venture capitalist. As an entertainment exec, Keidan worked with John Legend, Dave Matthews Band, and Nappy Roots. Keidan serves on the Council of Foreign Relations, a powerful group that some believe determines foreign policy. Former and current members include former presidents, current and former politicians, business magnates, and celebrities (
Keller, Georgie: Interior designer.
Kellette Frayse, Caroline: Fashion editor at Vogue and Tatler (both magazines constantly come up in Epstein’s contacts). Former girlfriend of Imran Khan, whose name has come up frequently. Passed away in 2014. Her husband, Jean-Marc Fraysse, is a French investment banker.
Kelmenson, Leo-Arthur & Gayl: Leo was an advertising and marketing guru who has been credited with saving Chrysler. Friend and advisor to Lee Iacocca, former President of Chrysler. He worked as Special Project Officer for the U.S. Department of State under President John F. Kennedy and AG Robert F. Kennedy. He had tons of connections. His former maid accused him of sexual harassment in 2010 (source: Kelmenson died less than two months after the story came out.
Kennedy Cuomo, Andrew & Kerry: Andrew is the current governor of New York. It’s no secret that Cuomo is willing to look the other way on sexual deviancy as long as he receives a payoff. Cuomo halted a probe into the handling of Harvey Weinstein’s case in New York after receiving $25,000 from Weinstein’s law firm (source: Andrew’s brother, CNN Host Chris Cuomo famously told viewers “not to get caught up in the intrigue of who Epstein’s friends are” (source: Perhaps, he was covering for his brother. Kerry Kennedy is Cuomo’s ex-wife of fifteen years, the daughter of RFK, and a close friend of Ghislaine Maxwell. Supposedly, Kennedy provided Ghislaine with informal illegal advice (source:
Kennedy Jr. Ted: Son of Ted Kennedy and nephew of JFK and RFK. Ted Jr. dabbled in politics and currently works as a lawyer. His father, Ted, was a notorious sexual abuser (allegedly).
Kennedy, Bobby & Mary: Bobby is the son of RFK and nephew of JFK. Bobby is a known drug abuser and philanderer. Bobby kept a sex journal detailing his conquests while he was married (source: His ex-wife, Mary, committed “suicide” two years after their divorce. Before committing suicide, Mary told a friend that she “feared for her life” and Bobby told her that she “would be better off dead” (source:
Kennedy, Ethel: Widow of RFK Sr. and mother of eleven, including Bobby Kennedy, Kerry Kennedy, and Joseph Kennedy II.
Kennedy, Jo: Joseph Kennedy II is the son of RFK Sr. and Ethel. Served in the House of Representatives from 1987-1999. In 1973, Joseph was convicted of negligent driving after paralyzing a young woman. He was fined $100.
Kennedy, Senator Edward: Brother of JFK and RFK, Ted Kennedy served as U.S. Senator of Massachusetts for 47 years. Besides politics, Ted is best known for the Chappaquiddick incident in which a young female speechwriter for RFK drowned to death when he lost control of his vehicle while driving across a bridge. He was charged with leaving the scene of an incident and given a two month suspended sentence. Ted was also notorious for his extramarital affairs. Senator Kennedy once hosted a party at his house attended by Bill Clinton and Lynn Forester de Rothschild. Rothschild wrote a letter to Clinton afterwards in which she mentions that they spoke about Epstein (source: It is unclear what was said or what Rothschild’s connection could possibly be.
Kersner, Sol: South African accountant and hotel and casino magnate who died of cancer in 2020. Kerzner was a close friend of Donald Trump. They even worked together to create The Palm, a man-made island off the coast of Dubai (source: Kerzner was also close friends with Sarah Ferguson, Duchess of York (, Naomi Campbell (, and Bill Clinton ( Kerzner was very good friends with Nelson Mandela and built his casino resorts with Gerard Inzerillo, who you can read about in my G-I ‘Black Book’ thread.
Khayat, Antoine, Jana, & George: Jana is an heiress and businesswoman. Jana is the niece of Galen Weston, a close friend of Prince Charles. George is her brother and CEO of Associated British Foods. Jana’s husband, Antoine, is a former banker and currently runs their vineyard.
Kidd, Jemma: Kidd is a British makeup artist, fashion model, and aristocrat. Married to Arthur Wellesley, Earl of Mornington, the son of the Duke and Duchess of Wellington, making her a Countess. Kidd is an interesting figure with elite connections. From 2005-2012, Ghislaine Maxwell served as Director of Jemma Kidd Make-Up Limited, a U.K. makeup company, which was founded by Kidd. Not only did Ghislaine serve as Director, but she was also a shareholder, along with the Rothschild family (source: If you click around the PDFs on this website (, you can see everything. The 16 JUN 2006 PDF on page 3 shows you a list of Officers and shareholders of the company. Jemma Kidd has also attended charity events for the National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children (NSPCC) ( Her sister, Jodie, is also a huge supportefundraiser of the NSPCC, as well as the Help a London Child and Monsoon Accessorize Trust charities, both of which help out disadvantaged children (source:
King, Abby: No info found.
Kirwin Taylor, Charlie & Helen: Charles is an investment banker. He was former CEO of Credit Suisse in Switzerland, an investment firm which shows up a few times through Epstein’s contacts. His wife, Helen, is a journalist.
Kirwin Taylor, Peter: British financier. Was a member of the Pilgrims Society (, a group that has included the Rothschilds, Rockefellers, and other elites amongst its ranks.
Kissinger, Dr. Henry A: Former U.S. Secretary of State and National Security Advisor under Nixon. Kissinger has long been accused of committing war crimes (ex: carpet bombing Cambodia, installing fascist governments in Chile and Argentina, genocide, extending our stay in Vietnam, etc) yet somehow managed to win a Nobel Peace Prize in 1973. Kissinger once said, “Military men are dumb, stupid animals to be used as pawns for foreign policy.” Kissinger served with Epstein on the Trilateral Commission. Kissinger has also been a member of the Bilderberg Group, the Council on Foreign Relations, the Aspen Institute, and Bohemian Grove. Long thought to be an advocate for a globalist New World Order, Kissinger is a scumbag of the highest order. His connections with Gates, the Clintons, Bush Sr. and Jr., the Rockefellers, and the Rothschilds are well-documented. If anyone here has ever done any research regarding the NWO, you have undoubtedly seen Kissinger’s name several times.
Klee, Rupert & Charlotte de: Rupert is a Director with Oakridge Group, a property development and investment company. His wife, Charlotte, is the producer of the religious plays at Wintershall.
Klesch, Johnathan: Former Director of Klesch Trading, which specializes in industrial commodities. It has offices in Russia, Malta, Surrey, and in London, down the block from Buckingham Palace.
Koch, David: Co-founder of Koch Industries, a diversified manufacturing conglomerate. Koch Industries has stolen oil from Indian reservations, committed hundreds of polluting, labor, and workplace safety violations. When he ran on the Libertarian ticket as the vice presidential nominee in 1980, Koch aimed to abolish Social Security, Medicare, Medicaid, welfare benefits, and minimum wage. Koch and Epstein were friends. Epstein even attended a party at Koch’s Southampton home ( Koch has also been photographed with Ghislaine Maxwell ( Thankfully, Koch died last year.
Kohl, Astrid: A businesswoman involved in pharmaceuticals. Married to Prince Alexander of Liechtenstein. Daughter-in-law of Prince Philipp of Liechtenstein. Niece of former German Chancellor, Helmut Kohl.
Kotic, Boby: CEO of Activision Blizzard, a video game holding company. Used to run several electronic companies. From 2003-2008, he was a director at Yahoo! In 2012, he became a non-executive director of Coca-Cola.
Kotze, Alex Von: British businessman involved in the tech industry.
Kravetz, Anna: Not much info found. Has a degree in finance from Wharton School and used to live on Park Avenue in NYC.
Krooth, Caryn: A successful real estate agent based out of Los Angeles
Kudrow, Alistar: No info found.
Lal, Dalamal: Director of Akron Corp. & Akron (Nig.) Ltd., a food and beverage import company based out of Nigeria.
Lalaunis, Demetra: Daughter of Ilias Lalaounis, a pioneer in Greek jewelry and a world renowned goldsmith.
Lambert, Christopher: Well-known actor.
Lambert, David: Former partner, managing director, and VP at Goldman Sachs.
Lambert, Edward: Lampert is a billionaire hedge fund manager and former CEO of Sears. Lampert graduated from Yale University in 1984 where he was a member of Skull and Bones. Rumored pedophile David Geffen gave Lampert $200 million to invest in 1992, when Lampert was just 29 years old. Lampert made Geffen $1 billion.
Lambos Duff & John: Karen “Duff” Duffy is an actress, model, and TV personality. She has had memorable roles as the love interest in “Blank Check” and as JP Shay in “Dumb and Dumber.” Duffy has battled with sarcoidosis, a deadly central nervous system disease, since the mid-’90s. She credits Harvey Weinstein with saving her life ( John is a former banker with Morgan Stanley and current President of GCA-US, an investment banking company.
Lang, Caroline: An art expert and Chairman at Sotheby’s Switzerland.
Lange, Dieter: Former Partner at WilliamHare, an international law firm with offices in London, Berlin, the U.S., Beijing, and Brussels. Passed away in 2010.
Larsen Janet: The only one I can find is a Business Psychologist based out of London.
Laurie, Jonathan: Founder and CEO of Cheyne Capital Management, an alternate investment fund firm.
Lavlada, Laura D.B. de: Laura Diez Barroso is a Mexican businesswoman. She sold her stock in Televisa for $726 million in 1993. Since then, she has been the head of several other companies.
Lawford Christopher & Jean: Christopher was an actor and relative of the Kennedys. His uncles were JFK, RFK, and Ted Kennedy. Many of his relatives appear in Epstein’s ‘Black Book’. His first wife, Jeannie, was an ad-sales associate for New York Magazine.
Lawton Paul: Two British businessmen with the same name come up. Both have extensive resumes. Could be either one.
Lazar, Christopher & Marie: Christophe seems to be a realtor in Paris, but I am not completely sure.
Le Bon, Simon & Jasmine: Simon is the lead singer of Duran Duran. His wife, Yasmin, is/was a fashion model. Yasmin is represented by Models1 in London. Models1 also represents Epstein and Ghislaine’s friend, Naomi Campbell. Le Bon has been accused of sexual assault in the past (
Le Fur, Jean-Yves: French businessman and magazine creator. He was once Princess Stephanie of Monaco’s ex-fiance. More notably, Le Fur was the one who discovered supermodel Karen Mulder (his girlfriend at the time) on the floor after she attempted suciide. Mulder blew the lid off the rampant rape and sexual abuse that she and her modeling colleagues had suffered at the hands of businessmen, royalty, celebrities, and government officials. She was even the protege of Epstein collaborator (allegedly), Jean Luc Brunel (
Le Marg Willie: No info found.
Lea, Piers: CEO of Learning Technologies Group, a workplace digital learning company.
Leeds, Jeffrey: Co-founder and Managing Partner of Leeds Equity. One of Leeds Equity’s partner companies is Endeavor Schools, which runs private preschools, primary schools, and secondary schools in Florida and 11 other states ( They are also partners with Fusion Educational Group (now Fusion Academy), which runs a chain of private secondary schools ( Former teacher Kris White, now the head of Fusion Academy in Palo Alto, allegedly told a student that he was in love with her and wrote her a note saying he was “obsessed” with her. ( This story was just published on July 12, 2020. Hypothetically, if one wanted to procure underage children, it would certainly help if the head of the school was on board and possibly a pedophile himself. According to this former teacher at Fusion Academy, “many students struggle with learning differences, behavioral issues, and/or addictions” ( In other words, the downtrodden and vulnerable. Fusion Academy refers to itself as a non-traditional school that focuses on individual students. Seems like a great opportunity. Leeds was also good friends with Epstein ( and has close ties to Colin Powell and Rudy Giuliani (
Lefcourt, Jerry: Famous lawyer who defended Epstein in 2007. That same year, Epstein donated $250,000 to the Washington-based Foundation for Criminal Justice, where Lefcourt was a board member.
Lester, Dominick: Founder and owner of MortgageFlex Systems, a mortgage lending company.
Levine, Phillip: Ex-Miami Beach mayor and close friend of Bill and Hillary Clinton. He claims that he doesn’t know how Epstein got his contact information… all 13 phone numbers, including those of his driver and housekeepers (!
Liman, Doug: Popular Hollywood director and producer. He directed Swingers, The Bourne Identity, and a couple of Tom Cruise movies.
Lindeman-Barnet, Sloan & Roger: Sloan has been a New York Times bestseller and an on-air and print reporter for NBC, ABC, and Reuters. Sloan and Roger also sit on the board of the Spence School in New York City, a private K-12 all-girls school ( Her husband, Roger, is the founder of and Chairman and CEO of Shaklee, a highly successful nutrition company. Donald Trump, Melania Trump, and Ghislaine Maxwell all attended the publication party for Sloan’s book in 2008 ( ; guests included Steve Mnuchin, Epstein and Maxwell chum Carol Mack, and a bunch of others also featured in Epstein’s ‘Black Book’ (Colin Cowie, Anton and Robin Katz, and Vittorio Assaf).
Lindemann, Adam & Elizabeth: Adam is a billionaire investor and art gallery owner. Brother of Sloan (mentioned just above). Elizabeth is his ex-wife. She is often photographed with many other people mentioned in Epstein’s ‘Black Book.’
Lindemann, George(Sr.) & Freida: Now-deceased billionaire father of Sloan and Adam. George was the CEO and Chairman of Southern Union, a pipeline company and served as Vice President of the Metropolitan Opera Association of NYC. His wife, Frayda, is the President and CEO of the Metropolitan Opera.
Lindsay, Alex & Jaclyn: Alex is a war documentary maker who rents out his loft at the address Epstein has listed (
Lindsey, Ludovic: Racecar driver.
Lindsley, Blake: Actress who was in two movies directed by Doug Liman (also in Epstein’s book) - “Swingers” and “Getting In.”
Linley, David: Princess Margaret’s son, Queen Elizabeth II’s nephew, and first cousin of Prince Charles and Prince Andrew. Linley is a furniture maker and the 2nd Earl of Snowdon. He used to be the Chairman of Christie’s auction house in the UK.
Liogos, Babis: No info found, but one of the numbers traces back to Thylan Associates, a real estate and investment firm.
Lister, Paul: Likely the director of legal services and company secretary for Associated British Foods, or it could be a conservationist. Not sure which.
Livanos, Arriette: I believe this Arietta Livanos, wife of Greek shipping magnate, Stavros Livanos. Arietta passed away in 1986.
Lo Cascio, Robert: Founder and CEO of LivePerson, a tech company that develops conversational commerce. LoCascio was photographed with Ghislaine at an after party in 2012 (
Loeb, Alex: Alexandra is the daughter of John Loeb, former U.S. Ambassador to Denmark under Reagan and former Delegate to the United Nations. John Loeb was also a special advisor to Nelson Rockefeller. Alexandra is also a descendant of the Lehman family (Lehman Brothers). Alexandra graduated from Spence Day School for Girls (mentioned earlier under Sloan and Roger Lindemann-Barnett).
Lonsdale, Richard: British investment banker.
Lorenzoti, Eva Vivre: Founder of luxury online retailer, and is a TV spokesperson/personality. Good friend of Ghislaine Maxwell. Maxwell and a couple of Rockefellers were guests at her house for a dinner party in 2010 (
Lorimer, John & Lottie: John works as a private investor and as a realtor. His wife, Lottie, is an interior designer.
Louthan Guy J: Prolific British film producer and former boyfriend of actress Liz Hurley (also in Epstein’s book).
Love, Courtney: Famous drug addict, musician, and actress who likely killed her husband, Kurt Cobain. Courtney famously claimed that Prince Andrew showed up to her house late one night in 2000 looking for sex. She has since retracted this claim. The entries under Love’s name all say ‘Dana’ next to them. This is Courtney’s ex-boyfriend, Dana Giacchetto. Giacchetto was considered to be the “stockbroker to the stars” and was friends with JFK Jr, Leonardo DiCaprio, Johnny Depp, and many others. He ripped his clients off of millions. Even more telling, Giacchetto was involved in a sex abuse case against X-Men director Bryan Singer ( He died in 2016 after he partied too hard and overdosed (
Lowell, Ivana: Guinness heiress who wrote about Harvey Weinstein’s sexual abuse while she worked at Miramax in her book back in 2010 ( She also dated Harvey’s younger brother, Bob.
Loyd Mark: No info found.
Lucas, Colin: The godfather of Boris Johnson, England’s current Prime Minister. Lucas is a British historian and university administrator. Served as Vice Chancellor of Oxford University from 1997-2004.
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