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The Spinoza American War

2019.09.12 04:13 jhbedsole The Spinoza American War

Spinish-American War

The Spinish-American War, also known as Black Beauty’s War, was a pseudo-military conflict between the United States and the Fino-Franco Alliance (Gran Caudillo del Norte en el Exillo/GNCE). It began on 26 December 1999 as a jurisdictional disagreement between US geologists and GNCE meteorologists over an ice core sample nicknamed Black Beauty/Kaunis Negra, and ended on 31 December 1999 with an armistice and subsequent joint action agreement regarding the fate of Black Beauty.[F 1]

Spinish-American War

Part of the Second Cold War
Date 26 December 1999 - 31 December 1999 (5 days)
Location GNCE-Controlled Northern Finland
Result Great Aurora Borealis Kegger Treaty
Territorial Changes Surrender of Black Beauty to the End of the World Bonfire [1] Cession of all Black Beauty research data to the Titanic Overlords of Human Knowledge via the End of the World Bonfire [F 7], [19] [citation needed]


United States
United States Geological Survey
Fino-Franco Alliance
Gran Caudillo del Norte en el Exillo (GNCE)

Commanders and leaders

United States
Dave Crostan, Field Station Chief [12]
Jemma Wallace, Field Medical Officer
Harmon Hamlin, Radio Engineer
Luís Arancini, Geologist [13]
Gustaf Pekkala, Meteorologist
Kristian Häkkänen, Climatologist [14]
José de Carmen Salas, Marine Biologist [15]
Erik Rasmussen, Station Culinary Officer
Xheng Jun, Liaison to the Titanic Overlords [19], [citation needed]


United States
8 Scientists [F 1]
3 Station Administrators [F 4]
• approx. 375 Snowballs [16]
• 1 Slingshot [16]
• 1 Toboggan [17]
• approx 16 broken Test Tubes [16]
• 2 Snow Blowers (deployed, but unused) [17]
Milly the Moose (Station Mascot) [16]
12 Scientists [F 2]
1 Station Administrator [F 2]
• approx. 280 Snowballs [18]
• 5 Slingshots [18]
• 4 broken Erlenmeyer Flasks [18]
• 1 decommissioned Snowmobile [18]
Brewmaster Karl Jørnsen (Station Mascot) [F 2]

Casualties and losses

United States
11 Captured [F 3]
All weapons destroyed or abandoned
All station food eaten
13 Captured [F 3]
All weapons destroyed or abandoned
Snowmobile destroyed in bonfire
All station beer and vodka drank
The conflict began after Arancini and Häkkänen had a public disagreement about how much of Black Beauty each crew would take possession of to study. Arancini requested the sample be divided equally between the two camps. Häkkänen stated that the GNCE should retain 70% of the core sample to run more extensive tests than the US team had planned.
The US camp refused and Black Beauty was stored at a neutral site between the camps (approx. 8 meters from the US camp, 6 meters from the GNCE camp). Dave Crostan was unhappy with the storage container’s proximity to the GNCE camp, so he instructed the US team to relocate their entire camp two meters closer to Black Beauty.
For the next three days, scientists from both sides took turns examining and taking measurement of the ice core, however tensions remained high. On 29 December 1999, a contingent of the GNCE complained very loudly about the brand of humor used in the American TV show, The Office,[16] which was openly playing on a monitor in the nearby US camp. This sparked a very vocal outrage in the US camp, which purportedly included false allegations about the Finnish scientists’ mothers.[18]
Rasmussen and Salas responded by manually launching compacted clusters of snow at the US camp. As the initial conflict erupted, Hamlin was famously heard to shout “Snowball fight!” As part of the US forces prepared a barrier against the GNCE’s munition, the rest of the team began composing their own clusters of snow as weapons.
The conflict escalated when Wallace produced a slingshot and found some errant pebbles to fire from it. This sparked Xheng to construct his own slingshot, and then four more for the GNCE forces to use. Pekkala then began breaking glass lab equipment and distributing the pieces among his forces. After the first day of fighting, during which the glass tools were never used, both sides agreed to a stalemate until 10:00 GMT the following morning. No casualties were suffered.[F 3]
As the conflict resumed, the US team built a very small barrier of broken glass between the two camps, firmly quagmiring Black Betty in no-man’s land. The GNCE responded by dragging their broken snowmobile into the space between Black Beauty and their camp. With defenses firmly in place, both sides resumed their snow cluster and slingshot barrages.
There was a brief discussion of a peace treaty while everyone lunched over hot stew, but the skirmish broke out again after neither side showed a willingness to compromise. After Milly the Moose got fed her lunch, Crostan snuck across enemy lines via toboggan to once again treat with the GNCE leadership. A treaty was drafted and ratified by both station commanders. The entirety of the US forces would surrender to Pekkala, ceding 55% of Black Beauty to the GNCE. In return, Pekkala and the rest of the GNCE forces would surrender to Crostan and turn over half of the beer in their possession.
The following morning the treaty was finalized and announced to the forces in both camps, formally ending the conflict and signaling the beginning of the Great Aurora Borealis Kegger. Over the course of the following day most of the food, beer, and vodka in Both camps was consumed around the End of the World Bonfire, along with an experimental hallucinogenic algae. During the early evening, consensus was reached to surrender Black Beauty to the flames, along with any and all resources and material gained from it.[17, 18, 19]
On 1 January 2000, both crews awoke to acute medical distress, linked directly to the events of the Great Aurora Borealis Kegger. Each commander formally freed the captured on both sides as aspirin and orange juice was administered to all the wounded. Leadership confirmed that the world had not, in fact, ended, and both teams resumed research on Black Beauty II at behest of the Titanic Overlords of Human Knowledge. [citation needed]
Inspired by this comment.
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2016.09.06 18:58 SinStar87 Geographical Description of Planet Goshen

Lux (Star) Golden star at the center of the system, lighting the world of Goshen.
Polar Called the Emerald moon by the tribes. Polar shines with a bright viridian. It’s named Polar by the ancients because unlike Eker, it rises in the North and sets in the South.
Eker Called the Blood moon by the tribes. Eker shines with a deep red, about ¼ the size of Polar. It rises in the East setting in the West.
Goshen The world of Goshen is a strange place. The truth of the beginnings of the world have been lost to history, with many tales spanning the many peoples that now populate Goshen, most common is The Breaking. Above the world are the 2 moons of Goshen, Polar and Eker, that affect the planet causing it to have 2 years of cold for every year of warmth.
Pocking the lands of Goshen are the “Old Cities” ruins dating back to before The Breaking, these lands are rich in Bone Metal, a strong light metal first gathered from the skulls of the Ancient Ones, people believed to be the ancestors the Goshenites descended from.
The known world consists of 2 continental land masses and numerous islands.
Rojas(Row Gus) The Northern Continent has climates ranging from frozen Black Waste glaciers in the north to Temperate plains in the south and west. A vast mountain chain, the Abimelech Mountains, cuts Rojas in two, on the East, the Black Waste holds sway, during summer the melting glaciers periodically cover the lands with fog. Prolonged exposure to the fog has detrimental effects on the little habitable lands and forests that lay between the Black Waste and the Earth Fort Mountains to the South. Fouling the waters and rivers.
The Eastern-most lands are saved from the Fog by the strong Southwestern Winds that push the fogs inland every summer, Allowing the greatest river in the North, the Levyt River, its source in the Black Fog Mountains, to run clean and clear no matter the season.
In the West, the mountains protect the lands from the fog, allowing the lands there a fertility. The most fertile lands lie in the vast Kalan valley between the Abimelech Mountains to the West, the Tainted Greys to the South, and the Dusk Coast to the West and the Kalan valley encompasses most of the flat land of the West.
To the South of the Kalan Valley, Lie the Grey lands. This region is host to numerous environments in and of itself, from savannah plains and rolling hills, to lush woodlands, to swamp and river lands, and close neighbors with the Tainted Greys Mountains and the Western Earth Fort Mountains.
To the North of Kalan Valley, lies Lake Etzu, a massive freshwater lake fed by the Mighty Etzu river, itself fed by two tributaries, the Greater and Lesser Etzu Rivers. Together the rivers bisect the majestic Abimelech Mountains before feeding into the lake. Etzu Lake itself stretches to the end reaches of the North and finally empties into the Polar Sea. West of Lake Thule and the lesser range of the Abimelech, sits the vast Norrain Forest. Norrain Forest is snaked and divided by another great river, the Norrain river, on its route to the North Dusk Sea.
On the western most tip of the Continent lies a stretch of plains cut off from the rest by the Felstone Mountains and a tuft of woodlands called the Basli Forest.
Off the east coast of Rojas is Gawei island. This massive island is home to the Solwood Forest, and Hal Mountain Chain, that separates the greater West from the lesser East is the, and from which springs the Sun River. The Sun River winds through the Solwood and eventually empties into the South Dawn Sea.
Pan(Pawn) The Southern Continent. Much of the terrain of Pan is filled with great savannahs and rocky Mountain chains with few spots of relief from the Sun. Even during the harshest winters much of the land never sees snow. The lands of Pan stand divided. Running from the Northern coast to as far south as anyone has dared visited, Pan is split by the awe-inspiring Vitat Canyon.
How and why the Vitat Canyon exists is unknown. What is know is the gravity here is much lower than the rest of Goshen. The depth of the canyon is not known either, it persists far below where even light won’t go. Carving forever south it forms a natural barrier between the East and West of Pan, the low gravity causes even nature’s attempts to bridge the gap, with rockslides, to fly up and out of the Canyon.
To the Northwest of the Vitat Canyon lie the grand stretches of savanna, the Blav, but little is known of the water poached region. On the northwestern-most coast is the densely packed Majat Mountains, the greatest peak of which is Koryfi. No matter the season it is never without its cap.
Off the coast is the middling isle of Kauni. It’s lands fertile, a lush forest grows nearly enveloped by the Tani Mountains that line the Southern Coast of Kauni.
To the Southwest, divided from the savannah by the Western Daly Mountains. lie the grass plains of Ades. Given some relief from the Sun by the Western Daly Mountains, the lands manage some fertility, and as you near the mountains the forest of Zalv is able to grow.
On the east coast and south of the Dalys sits the barren, rocky Dying Lands. Much of the land lies hard, lifeless. To the south lies a great sand desert of Vane. In the middle of the land is the Bottomless Hole to Nowhere, the giant hole goes forever.
Past the barren lands, behind the Southern Daly Mountains, the great Yava grows. The forest even manages to hold some claim outside, jutting out into wastelands, refusing to bow the the death outside the valley.
A protruded piece of land to the northeast is the Ran-nu Peninsula, cut off from the rest of Pan by a mass of the Daly Mountains.
Just to the west of the Ran-nu Peninsula is the Navo Desert. The desert is cut by the Navo River, fed by the immense and glorious Niya Falls, that flows north to the coast forming a large delta before emptying into the sea. The river regularly floods creating a fertile flood plain on the banks of the
Of the east coast, lies the island of Hese. In the northeast of the island is the Jese Mountains from which springs the tributaries of the Jesn. Which flows savagely southwest to the Bay of Giji. The land on the island is lush due to the river and a divided forest grows.
Ran-nu Peninsula Mostly grass plains, the Peninsula is cut off from the rest of the Continent by a East Daly Mountains. The mountains provide double benefit, the territory is protected from any threats from the land and the mountains have a cooling effect on the air in the region causing more than enough rain to water the would be desert. A river flows through the Ran-nu into the Veng Sea, dividing the region in north and south.
Islands of Goshen Several islands dot the waters. Between the 2 continents there are 6 worth mentioning. From East to West they are; Kzi, Stra, Elfall, Stro, Huargen, and Saar. The most notable is Elfall, on it is an active volcano.
Further east and pincering Gawei are the islands of Kami off the north coast and Maku off the South. Halfway between Gawei and the Ran-nu Peninsula is the isle of Cenno.
To the South of Cenno and north of Hese is Khes Isle and its fertile lands.
South of Hese are the forest covered Twin islands, they appear equal distances from the Hese mainland, emerald jewels on the sapphire ocean.
To the north and off the coast of Levyt are 4 islands, they are South to North, Oto, Umi, Topa, the last of which, Belar is always snow covered summer or winter.
To the West, off the coasts of the Continents are the last 3 noteworthy islands. Trovo and Insol off of Rogas and Ko off of Pan.
submitted by SinStar87 to PlanetOfGoshen [link] [comments]

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